Fears of writing

I wanted to write a few things that have been on my mind about this diary. Some thoughts and explanations because I plan to share everything the good the bad and the ugly.

First I feared about writing about being a parent with an addiction and an eating disorder. I don’t fear this not because I’m a functioning alcoholic but because I have been honest throughout my struggle. I have a fantastic support my system I have my mother my husband my mother in law sisters and friends. My children regularly see doctors, therapists, my children are well taken care of and my own doctors and therapists are very aware and help with our home situation.

Second am I afraid of people who know me to find this journal? I am not afraid. I only speak the truth no matter how that will make feel about me. I feel that the people in my life would maybe understand and I know they struggle to understand. If it causes judgment then maybe they will reevaluate their relationship with me. Also I don’t post this to Facebook or throw it in anyone’s face and I never plan to tell anyone about it so it’s not for attention it’s just a safe place to write for me.

Third am I afraid someone here will figure out who I am? Yes and no I changed my diary name for that reason however with technology it’s very simple to figure out who I am and I don’t mind people who I make a true connection with to be real friends. As we all know being here is sort of like being totally exposed I’d like to take our relationship slow before we hit the next level 😂 haha.

That being said it’s nice to meet you my name is Melissa.