Welcoming myself Back.

I have a bit of writers block because I have so many ideas for this blog.

365 letters?

A mothers guide to survival and sanity?

Winning against Bi-Polarism? LOL

Maybe, I’ll do a bit of all three. Last year, I had so many entries of being so lost- in my life, in my career, in my relationship, as a young mother trying to piece it all together. Reading back, I saw where I was terminated and turned down in countless interviews. Where I was heartbroken, proud, up, down. The sway of life. It’s something to be proud of- making it through the mess. I told myself this was going to be the year I make it. This was going to be the biggest change yet. I was going to reach for the stars and get “it” if it was the last thing I ever did. What is “it” you may ask? I wanted independency and stability. I wanted commitment and strength. I wanted to be something. I put my head down and I got to it. I am now a woman succeeding in a man’s world. I am going to make 90 grand this year. I went from making 22k a year for YEARS to 90k this year. I am still in such shock. I am so proud of who I am. I chose to wake up and chose a dream every day and it paid off. I took over 75 classes to become certified. In 7 short months- I have learned a craft and been employee of the month 3 months and running. It comes with a lot of stress- but it was something I chose, and I now truly believe that you can do anything you set your mind too. Being 27 and accomplishing true stability and independency as a woman- nothing will ever compare.

I only wish.. it solved all things. I think a lot of people measure success differently. Growing up in my home, it seemed to be of your career. WHO would you be? What you can do, and what you can make. I spent a long time worried I would never make them proud. I am so glad I am able to ease their mind as my parents now. That will be something different that I implement with my children,,, because I believe… that my career isn’t actually a reflection of success. What is success to a human? Is it a career? A diploma? The house, the cars, the boat, this big fat diamond ring on my left hand? OR is it self love, being at one with GOD and the earth, HAPPINESS in this one life? THAT. That feels a lot like what success should be. That is the beauty of being a parent- you get to rewrite the book with all the things you learn along the way. I want to support whatever my children’s idea of their own success is. I wonder- will I ever be complacent- because I now feel like maybe I have started a new journey- What will it be? Redefining success and I dunno…

achieving that too.