First Entry

Up until a few days ago, I thought I had the most boring, pointless life in the world. But now I see I’ve been demoted. The position has been filled by another individual: The Pope. Upon his retirement, he plans to dedicate the remainder of his days praying for humanity. I say, "Good luck, Chuck." That’s not gonna accomplish a damn thing except make himself (and a billion other Catholics but me) feel like he’s actually doing something. And I will continue to binge and purge and starve my days away. Essentially, we’re accomplishing the exact same thing… we are withdrawing from the world.

Yesterday was Valentine’s Day and I did go out, but only because there was something in it for me. My husband took me out to a dark and fancy restaurant for dinner where we were given a cozy little table right next to the fireplace. Although there were many super-scrumptious items on the menu, I opted for the all-you-can-eat salad bar. Right down my alley. Nice, low cal selection that won’t affect my tall, model-like physique, haha. Right. I discovered a new favourite salad dressing called Creamy Cucumber Wasabi. It’s to die for, but I must’ve had over 1000 mayo packed, fat loaded calories in that alone! But what the hey, it helped the rest of the meal come up oh-so smoothly.

I must admit though, it was nice to get all dressed up, apply some make-up, and look like Mrs.Trophy Wife on my man’s arm. I love to make him proud to take me out because it happens so very seldom. He likes to see how other men look at me, look at him. I’m sure it boosts his ego because they’re probably thinking what a lucky man he is to have such a beautiful woman. And that makes me feel like I’m at least partially doing my job as a wife. For me though, I don’t care about the stares from other men, no… I enjoy being eyed up and down by other women, obviously jealous at what they see. Oh Lord, if they only knew the truth of what lies behind my devious, sad facade. No one wants to live the way I do, and as a matter of fact, I am jealous of them, of their normal lives.