Oh/You Were Always Late/To Bloom

Our wedding playlist was the first thing I used Spotify for_{<so it became the very bedrock of my algorithm>} and I have been revisiting the formative playlist itself lately for Reasons. In retrospect, it is one of the most autistic things I’ve ever done to put together a biblically accurate and complete list of ditties about our relationship and expect everyone to not think it was weird as hell to hear Waterloo_<Abba> and If He Tries Anything_<Ani> and Accidentally Like a Martyr_<Zevon> and Waited_{<Our Lady Peace>} at a marriage day right in amongst all the adorative crooning.

‘And you laugh
Like you’ve never been lonely
And
that’s all right honey
That’s all right with me’

Reading with the 9 yo at bedtime, I have learned the local word for crow is correctly Kakakooch and now when I watch them pillage the compost I wonder if they remember when they were only called that here. If I had ever been named so accurately, I would never forget what I was called even after centuries of disuse. Do their friends further north tell them their correct name when they hang out in between? It’s possible the eagles, with their big, big ranges carry other peoples’ names to them. If anyone would know something like this, I feel like it’s Kakakooch who would remember the longest. They don’t like to talk to me, though, so I can’t know. They only come freely into the yard when they know we’re safely inside. It often feels like they find it funny to watch bipeds mired in snow or penguin-walking down the iced driveway foolishly. I imagine they get some_<human> grief around the neighborhood for tearing open trash bags on Tuesday mornings, but I like to talk to them some when I know they’re lurking about. I don’t much like birds as people generally, but there is just something about Kakakooch that I very much respect. There will be one in my enormous back tattoo this month. Hunting with a fox.

‘Oh you laugh
like there’s hope in the 
Story
And
That’s all right honey
That’s all right with me’

Last night, he_{<having taken a small amount of ill-advised ketamine>} cocked his head
.                                                                                                                                    ;How much are you thinking about sex? Sex can’t be all you think about.
.                                                                                                                                       You must think about other things?;
.                                                                                                                                    nervously, his voice rising along the way.

‘Oh you laugh
Like I’ll be there 
To hold you
Always
Always
Here’

I watched us both pat dogs for a further swelling five minutes then
.                                                                                                                            ;How often do the dogs think about getting pats? That’s how many I am thinking
.                                                                                                                              about sex;

‘Always honey
Always
Here
…
Oh go
Leave these fires 
Burning
A house of embers and coal’

Aghast,
.             ;We can’t be having sex all the time!;
.                                                                                 ;We can; and I am trying very hard to make it happen if you would just let me!;

‘Cuz lust is just
A child’s game
And you
Oh
you were always late
To bloom’

Today I will employ explicit photos sent during work hours_<again>. I’m going to work very hard to get what I want now that it’s available for the taking.

‘And you love like
You’ve always been lonely
And
That’s all right honey
That’s all right with me
Oh you love him
With all of your body
And
That’s all right honey
That’s all right with me
Oh you love him
Like he’ll be there for always’
– Ben Howard