Movies That Make Me Cry…..

You know it’s funny how I used to look at movies and cry my eyes out at any bit of human emotion,caring, suffering…..you all know what I am talking about.  Those types of movies that you know before you even put them in the VCR/DVD player that you are going to cry or get choked up before the movie ends.

Well now as a PREGNANT woman omg…..I sat down today and got the urge to watch the movie The Green Mile, A classic really I love that movie anytime…but omg did I ever forget how much of a TEAR JERKER that movie really was and now is…even more so….

You know just when I think I know what life is starting to hold in front of me it all goes awry and changes on me…..The death anniversary of Jason just past and it’s been 5 years already….I think to myself…where in sam’s hell did the time go…I couldn’t bring myself to go to his gravesite…not in the state I am in…

So I went about life as usual this week, maybe just a little more depressed and tired of all the hupala…Thinking of my Jason and trying to just “live”…they say it gets easier…well it does sorta but it’s never really gone….I could be locked in a room with no way of telling time or date and I figure i would still know when the 15th of March comes to pass!!! But I guess that’s what happens when you love someone so much and feel so guilty that god had to take an angel so young as 19….

So today I am at work, not a fast day or a stressful day by any means for a Thursday…When I get a call at work.. ( see I don’t like calls at work, so noone usually calls me there ) I pick up the phone and my cousin Billy’s on the other end with some bad news…it seems our childhood friend Paul past away 2 weeks ago…and he just found out through his brother…so he instantly thought of calling me to tell me…so tomorrow him and I are going to see his twin brother and his mom…just to I don’t know see where we can help matters I guess.  It kinda sucks you know…I didn’t need it this week…not the same week as Jay or month for that matter…but tis life I guess

Here I am about to bring life into the world….and all I am surrounded with is the death of friends and family….

Makes you think really and be grateful for all that I do have… So here I am trying hard not to make things stressful on myself and people find just one more way to stress me out…but it’s okay it’s not like it was done on purpose… 

But the weird thing was I couldn’t cry at work…so therefore I cam ehome thinking of a sappy movie that I could just lose myself in and shed all those tears that I needed so badly too shed…

So this is my day…and the next shall pass…and the next after that…till I guess it’s time for my happy news…but still…it makes me feel guilty that I am here and those I love are not…

Sorry if this was depressing but I needed to get it out

Wishing you all the Best

Love,
Me