Wow… alot going on here

Poulas showed up on Saturday. I was in town hanging out with Derek and Poulas called me. He was acting really strange (I didn’t know he decided to drive down) asking me really weird questions. I ended up taking Derek home and came back home. Got here, his Jeep was pulled into the garage (my parents were out of town)… and he was at my Grandma’s and saw me pull up so he scared the crap outta me in the garage. Ended up having a few people come out here and we were drinking. I was drunk by the time any of the got there, and Poulas was on his way to being drunk. That was fun!! It was hilarious too!!

Anyways, to answer T’s questions: everything between Poulas and I changed when dad died, granted I was the one he leaned on after dad passed, but things were definately different. Then when I moved back from Kentucky things changed even more. And before he showed up Saturday I was so frustrated and hurt that I really didn’t care what happened one way or another. This week has been absolutely amazing though. He’s been sooooo good to me!! And this is the week I needed someone there, so, it’s worked out wonderfully. I don’t think we’ve gotton along this well in a very long time. We haven’t fought once!! I think most of it is because I have let go and I’m enjoying more having him as my friend and not letting my feelings get in the way. Those feelings will always be there I think… I still love him… but I think I’ve managed to let go of the idea. Make sense? He’s been helping my dad all morning/afternoon until I get home from work and then we all just chill. The last few days we’ve both been way exhausted and just hang out. Last night Poulas, Derek and I went for pizza since my parents had some dinner thing. That was fun!!

I have a job interview on Wednesday. The job I’m at right now are treating me like crap… and yelling at me for stuff I didn’t do… blah blah. I feel like I’m in elementary again having people blame other people for their mistakes, having people rat on you (for stuff you aren’t even doing)… etc. Just gettin’ extremely old. And I’m entirely too stressed out working there and it’s not been healthy for me. Been talkin’ to Poulas about it when I get home and my parents have been huge helps too. I’m glad Poulas is here. He’s going to Omaha tonight to stay the night. Has a couple friends there I guess? I don’t know, the way he’s always talked he never really hung out with many people but at the bar… so I’m assuming he’s going to the bars and whatnot down there. I hope he’s careful. I worry about him. But, I’m not going to worry about him tonight. I want him to have fun and enjoy himself. I want him to be happy. And I want me to be happy. And honestly, I would be alot more happier if I wasn’t working where I work!! Blasted fools!!

Anyways, that’s all for now. I’m fixin’ to go to town!!

Alissa