Steph

It’s not the song I wanted, but here’s one that has helped me in the past:

Undone by Lifehouse

I can see it in your eyes- you’re hurting

Pain is part of learning who you are

All these truths can sometimes be deceiving

When your whole world comes crashing to the ground

Tell me everything you need now anything at all

‘Cause I will be the one who’s waiting anytime you fall

When you come undone

You know I can’t be like everybody ’cause I can’t tell you what you want to hear

I don’t know if I can make it better all I know is I will be around

Tell me everything you need now anything at all

‘Cause I will be the one who’s waiting anytime you fall

When you come undone.

When all the plans you made are lying on the floor

And all your dreams are turning into nothing more

When all your hope has left you know you’re not alone

Just hold on, hold on

Tell me everything you need now anything at all

‘Cause I will be the one who’s waiting anytime you fall

When you come undone.

It’s technically talking about God, but it works. Sometimes, things don’t make sense to us, and possibly never will. There’s also a song called “Winter” by Sister Hazel and one of the lines in it is, “you’re opinion, what is that? It’s just a different point of view.” Sometimes, other peoples opinions (or advice) on a situation, we don’t want to hear, but it might be the best idea ever. Love does blind us to certain things. Look at me with Poulas- everyone said it wasn’t going to happen, that I was holding on to something that wasn’t there. They were right. It took me 3 years to realize that… I don’t want it to take you that long to realize that about Derek.

I’ve known Derek a long time, and yeah, he does have his faults… who doesn’t… and when I say things about him, it doesn’t mean I think ill of him. He’s been a decent friend to me (at least in the past…. things are a little different now)… and despite his faults, he has been there a time or two for me, so I can’t really be mean and say bad things about him. But, I do know him well enough to know that he can hurt people. We are all selfish people, that includes Derek, me, and you Steph. The key is to not let people take advantage of you, and I think that’s what Derek is doing. He knows you’ll sleep with him, even though y’all are just friends. He KNOWS that. You’re a sweet girl Steph, so don’t think I’m saying that that’s all your good for, ’cause I’m not saying that. But, even though it’s mean and it’s ugly of him, that’s what he’s been doing. I hope for your sake, that you are able to move on and to just stay away from him completely. YOU WILL BE BETTER OFF… trust me Steph. You have alot going for you… it may not seem like it because you’re hurting, but you really are a sweet girl. You will one day make someone a wonderful girlfriend. I don’t think it’s it’ll be with Derek though. Maybe I’m wrong, I have no idea.

I know how it is to love someone with all your heart and soul and not have it reciprocated back. Don’t let it take YOU 3 years to figure it out. It’s hard. It hurts. It sucks. Somedays you will feel like you’re worthless and ugly and stupid. Tomorrow is another day sweetie. Make yourself happy. As soon as you figure out that you don’t need a man to be happy, the happier YOU will be. Yeah, it’d be nice to have someone to love, to have a last call of the day (see the movie Bounce)…. but you can’t make someone else happy if you yourself aren’t happy yet.

I’m stepping off the soap box now and will talk to ya in a bit I think.

Alissa