Interesting

Well, dad has taken a turn for the BETTER. I can’t believe it. This morning, he was up talkin’ and eatin’ and drinkin’ stuff. It’s kinda weird. But, anyways, I got sent home from work (or rather to the hospital) this morning and ended up staying at the hospital until about 9p. I didn’t want to leave. And I don’t think Poulas wanted me to either, but, he knew I had to get a good nights sleep tonight. He made me promise I wouldn’t miss work again. LOL. Even in his suffering, he’s worried about ME. Him and I got into it last night about him being suicidal and stuff. He shouted out everything I’ve ever felt for him, and everything I still feel for him. I begged, and I pleaded with him. Just wish there was something I could do. I didn’t get much sleep last night. The doctor gave Poulas some pills for his nerves, and they made him pass out… so, I ended up staying up with dad ’cause he kept taking his oxygen mask off. So, I only got like an hour of sleep, and I was crying most of yesterday, and then this morning I was crying… entire way to Poulas house (home now)… and while taking a shower… all the way to work… and then in front of my bosses *GASP* they probably think I belong in the looney bin… maybe I do, I don’t know. Then, I got to the hospital after they sent me home, and I saw Poulas, and I was instantly calm. It was crazy. So, Poulas and I slept most of the day, and his dad was doing fine. My mom showed up around 1:30 and she brought lunch. Bless her heart. She’s taking care of the both of us. Rina told Poulas to take care of me, and he said I’m taking care of him. I am taking care of him, and I’m glad to do it. I love him. More than anything I’ve ever loved in my life. I would do anything for that boy. And I know he would do the same for me if it was in his power.

He’s talking about disappearing for awhile. I don’t know what that means, but it scared me, and I let him know it last night. It was the first time I was totally honest about anything I’ve ever felt before… I think he finally realizes how much I care about him and how much I need him in my life. At least I hope he realizes that.

Vetas (his brother) should be there tonight. I’m calling right now to see if he made it or not. I hope he did. I was going to stick around the hospital until he got there, but Poulas ended up making me leave. After he kept hugging me about 3 times. It was crazy. I was walking out of the room 3 times and he kept pulling me back to hug him. Poor thing. I really don’t think he wanted me to leave, but knew that I had to. I feel stupid sitting here and him there, and us both being alone. I don’t think either of us need that right now. I wish someone were here with me besides Rina. He pulled the chairs up next to each other in the hospital room (they were across the room from each other)… and we slept side by side. It was nice. I miss him at nights… well, I miss him constantly, but alot at nights. The nights are the lonliest times I think…

Anyways, that’s all for now. I really do need to get to bed. And I have a few phone calls to make. Poulas didn’t answer his phone, so hopefully he’ll see that I called and get back to me. If not, I’ll call tomorrow morning or just stop up there before going to work. We shall see.

Alissa