Free Range Reading Glasses

(Imagine reading this with your best best David Attenborough voice.)

Here in the domestic terrarium of pandemic quarantine we see the the inhabitant hunting and  gathering.  This morning is the ritual search not for food, but for  her free range reading glasses.  Due to the recent shopping drought the  terrarium occupant has been unable to find replacements and must face the uncertainty  of surviving the drought with only five pairs of glasses.  The culling of the glasses herd has been prolonged this year having lost almost half the herd since the start of spring.

Scientists to date have been unable to determine the migration patterns of reading glasses.  What is known is that reading glasses frequently gather at known watering holes: the nightstand, the end table, the car map pocket.  Their favorite nesting spot is the terrarium inhabitant’s head where they masquerade as hair ornaments.   Occasionally two pairs of reading glasses are found in the terrarium occupant’s hair,  one on top of  another. This is not suspected to be mating behavior as offspring have yet to be observed.

So much remains to be discovered about these creatures, the diversity of the group is vast.  Within this particular  terrarium the current  members of the species are the 1.50 and the 1.75 magnifications as well as three of the Sam’s club quadruplet pack. Succumbed or culled from the herd are (of course) the rare “favorite pair” of reading glasses.  We have yet to identify the predator or predators of reading glasses.  Current thinking is that it may be the dust bunnies, or they lesser known cousins, the lumbering dust mastodons that  migrate through the terrarium, though this has never been caught on film.

(And now you know why the dog chews the furniture when left alone for the day.)