The Best Diaries Ever (An Award Series)

After the last few days plowing through diary entries, I’ve decided that it is my civic duty as a citizen of OpenDiary to cut through the bullshit and determine once and for all what diaries are actually worth reading. I don’t know about y’all, but I am getting sick and tired of assholes complaining that I never note them. Get a clue people – if I don’t note your diary, it is probably because I refuse to read your diary because it is BORING.

Finding quality content in a sea of miserable teenage girls with online diaries is probably the hardest thing I’ve ever done, but since I am a Divine Super Hero, I did manage to find a few gems in this mire of filth. Without futher ado:

[Casey Leigh]

 Poignant and Absurd. 

I don’t know how the fuck she does it, but somehow, Casey Lay managed to do something as normally mundane as talk about one’s life, and add flair to it that makes it funny and awesome. Most personal online diaries are not so much diaries as they are epic struggles against passing out from sheer boredom, but not Casey Lay. She manages to combine the personal with the absurdly funny while diminishing neither. And get a load of her comics. I would humbly suggest that being deprived of her comics would be considered a form of cruel and unusual punishment. Casey Lay is pretty much a walking, talking, true life cartoon. And I should also mention that she is incredibly hot too.

I was told about this diary by this crazy bitch that hated her and wanted her boyfriend. I was told to read "a shitty diary" and discovered that this diary was way better than the bitch who referred me to her. Immediately afterwards, I told the ugly skank who referred me to fuck herself and joined the rank of Casey Lay worshippers. To this day, I have all her albums, and the Caseyism Compilation, which I post in my diary regularly. Casey is currently the only diarist I know who not only has her own Interest group, but deserves it.

Casey enjoys Disney, freebasing cocaine, Brendan Fraiser, and long walks in the gravel quarries.

[Club MaD]

 Hold on to your nuts. 

Everything about this diary kicks ass. Classics like Typing On The Keyboard With My Nuts, Shit! I’m Gonna Be A Father!!!, and We Pop Girls’ Cherries For Points never get old. Seriously, even on TV and in the funnies it is hard to find wit as clever as this. His content is truly original – you have never seen anything like this and never will again.

I went to this website after someone told me that MaD was a complete dick. I rapidly travelled to this place to fight him and started reading entries for ammunition. Three hours later, I was hooked. MaD has officially joined the ranks of Comedians Who Are Actually Funny, which includes Scott Adams of Dilbert fame, and Chris Rock, up until he did his 100th white joke. If there is one negative point about this diary, it is that the Diary Master, who is completely deviod of a sense of humour, keeps deleting it despite its massive fan base. But fear not, assholes, anyone who seeks his newest incarnation shouldn’t have too much trouble. If you are looking for good laughs, I highly recommend this diary. But if you are a pussy who is easily offended or has a weak stomach, you should do something more your style, like knitting or playing in traffic.

MaDBaLL enjoys having his dick sucked all the way down to the bag, setting kittens on fire for kicks, and fighting every dam person who gets in his way when he’s in FIGHT MODE, including mexicans and indians.

[His Divine Shadow]

 I am the best. 

I think this one’s pretty much a given. I can’t say enough about how much my diary rules. It’s the best diary ever.

That is all I have for now. If you are interested in getting in on this list or my next Best Diaries Ever award, please note me. I look forward to ignoring you.

-Me