Now we know how McGuire beat Sosa

 Sammy Sosa, this is all that stood between you and 70 home runs. 

It’s good to know that Congress is wisely spending out tax dollars doing important business for the country. However, I’m not sure where interviewing a bunch of famous baseball stars is supposed to fit into that category. Or if it even does at all. Doesn’t Congress have better things to do than to concern itself over trivial bullshit like pro-baseball? Seriously, nobody cares. I still can’t tell if this is all because Congress wants the publicity by making a name for itself, or if this is all bullshit aimed at the "war on drugs." Either way, it is lame and needs to stop.

I don’t know a whole lot about laws concerning steroid use in sports, but logic dictates that there are only two possibilities: either using steroids to enhance performance in sports is either legal or illegal.

If the use of performance enhancing drugs is legal, then Congress, the central law making body in the nation, needs to step off and do other things that actually matter in real life, like making laws and shutting the hell up. It’s none of your business, you fat ass congressional turds, so stuff it. It’s possible that using steroids might be illegal in accordance with whatever kind of professional establishment Major League baseball has set up (but I’ll be damned if I am going to find out what it is). This is the way how the Olympics works – if a body is caught using drugs in the Olympics to give an unnatural edge in competition, that person can be disqualified, and their awards, if already awarded, revoked. Either way, if baseball has rules like this too, it is up to the baseball commission or whatever to do something about it.

If the use of performance enhancing drugs is ILLEGAL, then the baseball stars should be giving testimony – in front of a grand jury. This is the reason police, courts, and juries exist, to put the beat down on criminals. Congress doesn’t have any say whatsoever because they’re supposed to make the laws, not enforce or interpret them. Besides, dragging famous baseball stars into a courtroom would be good for society. Already, the American justice system is cracking down on celebrity assholes who think their prestige puts them above the law. While I don’t agree with Martha Stewart being put away (but mostly because I know that position pisses people off), I applaud America for having the balls to take her down. Same thing with Kimberly Jones (Li’l Kim). It is about time that America stops glorifying the gangsters and criminals that promote rap and hip hop and starts taking them off their platinum pedestals and putting them into jail cells where they belong.

Man, I hate rappers and their fucking attitudes. And before anybody gives me shit about how I am "racist" (because all rappers are black) and how "not all rappers are gangsters" all I can say is that you need to get your head out of your ass. Aside from all the drugs and shit, rappers are notorious for their lame-ass gang-banger mentality. Don’t believe me? Check out how many violent deaths can be attributed to the "rap scene":

Rappers Killed in Gunfights: Tupac Shakur, Christopher Wallace (Notorious B.I.G.), Jason Mizell (Jam Master Jay), Randy "Stretch" Walker, Lamont Coleman (Big L), Raymond Rogers (Freaky Tah) rap music promoter Keneth Walker (Promoted 50 Cent, who is currently at war with a lot of other people who’s work he ripped off)
White country folk singers killed in gunfights:
Alternative music stars killed in gunfights:
Punk rock musicians killed in gunfights:
Heavy metal artists killed in gunfights:

Keep in mind, this list doesn’t even count the gangster-rapper bullshit that didn’t result in fatalities, like this:

"The former sidekick and girlfriend of the late Notorious B.I.G. [Li’l Kim] had testified that she didn’t notice two close friends at the scene of the 2001 gun battle – her manager, Damion Butler, and Suif "Gutta" Jackson. Both men have since pleaded guilty to gun charges.
The shootout occurred outside WQHT, known as Hot 97, when Lil’ Kim’s entourage crossed paths with a rival rap group, Capone-N-Noreaga. Kim’s entourage confronted them about the song "Bang, Bang" from a Capone-N-Noreaga album, which contained a scathing insult to Kim from her longtime rival, Foxy Brown. A shootout erupted, leaving one man injured and more than two dozen rounds fired.
Hot 97 is the same station where the posses of 50 Cent and The Game traded bullets last month. No arrests have been made in that shooting, which left one of Game’s henchmen wounded in the leg."

Seriously, when was the last time you heard about Tim McGraw and Bruce Springsteen getting into a gun battle? Or Metallica getting into it with Green Day? Can you ever remember Moby trading bullets with Blink 182? Probably not. You never hear about that shit because it never happens. And nobody but hardcore wannabe rap-fans give a shit about that stupid East Coast / West Coast "rivalry", so drop it already. Gang-banger rap artists have been giving the law the laugh for long enough. But even if they are, that is a problem for the law enforcement of America, not Congress.

In short, Congre$$ needs to stop wasting their time and my money with this political grandstanding bullshit. There are more important things for them to do. Like sitting on their old fat asses in meetings doing nothing. Oh yeah, and I almost forgot to mention that all the steroids, chewing tobacco, and swearing in the world can’t make baseball any less of a girlie-man sport. Seriously, the media and people in general need to stop boring people who have lives with talk about the Cubs and the Red Sox. THAT SHIT IS TIRED. Get over it or go to hell. Man I’m so pissed. I’m going to go burn a kid’s baseball cards purely out of spite.

 No baseball card is valuable enough to be worth the years you’ve pissed away obsessing over this useless bullshit. 

-His Divine Shadow