I’ve got your “Christmas Spirit” right here…

It never fails. A lot of things increase as the holidays approach, including line lengths, crowds at the mall, crappy Christmas carols, holiday sales, and of course, the never ending stream of bullshit from people who think they know what is best for everyone else. For an example, I can just point to USA Today: "This Christmas season … Christians and traditionalists across the nation, fed up with what they view as the de-emphasizing of Christmas as a religious holiday, are filing lawsuits, promoting boycotts and launching campaigns aimed at restoring references to Christ in seasonal celebrations."

Also in Ohio, "A Cincinnati man recently filed [ in 1998 ] a federal lawsuit seeking to declare unconstitutional the federal law which makes Christmas a national public holiday. Richard Ganulin, an assistant solicitor for Cincinnati, filed the suit in U.S. District Court. The suit charges that the law violates the constitutional principle of separation of church and state because "Christmas is a religious holiday, and the Congress of the United States in not constitutionally permitted to endorse or aid any religion, purposefully or otherwise, or entanglement between our government and religious beliefs." according to the Building Equality website. I was hoping that even bullshit would take time off for the holidays, but I guess I was wrong. Therefore, I feel it is my duty to explain to people how to get their heads out of their asses. Consider it His Divine Christmas gift.

If you don’t like Christmas:
Shut the hell up. I am sick of bastards saying that they have a problem with Christmas and doing their damndest to ban Christmas carols, Christmas plays, Christmas Ornaments, Nativity scenes, and any references to religion. Some people even go so far as to call Christmas Trees "holiday trees" as if that would fool anyone except the most self-deluded moron into believing that they are anything other than what they really are. Most of these bastards are the same people who think that "Separation of Church and State" and "Freedom of Religion" really mean "Freedom From Religion." For those of you who don’t get it, here is a clue: freedom of religion means that people can do whatever the hell they want and not get punished for it by assholes who hate Christmas, and separation of Church and State means that the government cannot tell the citizenry that only one religion is the right one and that all others are wrong, like in so many of those Arab countries you "liberals" worship. Besides, freedom from religion is kinda self-defeating if you ask me. Trying to banish all religion from schools and public places is government support for Atheism, another form of "religion." I wonder how the Supreme Court is going to deal with the fact that I just bit them in the ass.

The only thing that pisses me off more than assholes trying to banish Christian holidays from the face of the Earth are the dumbasses who insist that Chanukah and Kwanzaa have to be celebrated to "celebrate diversity." First of all, how are you "celebrating diversity" by ignoring a holiday that is observed by a good chunk of the world population? That would be like ignoring the culture of an entire group of people just because they aren’t minorities. It is a good thing that Affirmative Action doesn’t do that. Oh wait…

Secondly, Chanukah and Kwanzaa are bullshit holidays. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t have a problem with Chanukah, except for the fact that people make such a big deal out of it even though, to Jews, it is a relatively minor holiday that isn’t even a religious one to begin with. The only other Jewish holiday that approaches Chanukah in importance is Purim and do any of you bastards know what Purim is? Didn’t think so. I notice that throughout most of the year, I don’t hear these people "celebrating diversity" making a peep about Rosh Hashana or Yom Kippur, which actually really ARE important Jewish holidays. I wonder why – is it because they are really only interested in using the Jew Card to upstage Christmas – a holiday they hate?

As far as Kwanzaa goes, all I can say is that I have a hard time taking any holiday invented in 1966 seriously. It isn’t even a religious holiday, just another crappy attempt for black people to get their own holiday, just like they demand their own neighbourhoods, their own scholarships, their own schools, etc. So much for ending segregation.

In short, I’d just like to say this: Christmas is an American holiday, just like English is our national language. I know a lot of "tolerance" preaching people don’t like it, but that’s the way it is and it ain’t gunna change. In fact, why should it? If I am going to Spain, expecting them to all suddenly start speaking English for my benefit is racist and bigoted, not to mention arrogant. Same goes true here. If you don’t like it, why don’t you move to some other country where celebrating any holiday other than Eid al-Fitr and Eid al-Adha can get your ass kicked? Otherwise, my Christmas wish is to have you shut the hell up. Nobody cares if Christmas offends you.

 I wonder what this "holiday tree" would look like buried in your ass? 

If you love Christmas too much:
Quit your bitching. I already hear of a lot of so-called "Christians" who are pissed that Christ is being taken out of Christmas. Many of these people are also planning protests, demonstrations, and angry letter writing campaigns. Only problem is, nobody gives a shit about protests, demonstrations, or angry letter writing campaigns except the assholes who think they are actually making a difference.

Besides, do you people really think you are making the world a better place with your "Put Christ Back Into Christmas." campaign? The reason I say "back" is because Christ hasn’t been in Christmas since Hallmark took his place. Today, Christmas is all about presents, Christmas trees, candy canes, and some fat bastard who gives people free stuff. Am I supposed to be pissed off about that cos I am not Christian? Go to hell, – kids like Christmas the way it is, with free gifts and lots of candy. The worst thing that can happen to a kid on Christmas is to get dragged off to listen to some boring asshole at a place where he isn’t allowed to play. Do you really want to torment kidson Christmas with church-time? I shure as hell don’t.

So what if Macy’s and other department stores replace the word "Merry Christmas" with "Seasons’s Greetings" to avoid offending people? It sounds like PC garbage (probably cos that is what it is), but they have a good reason for doing it – offended customers don’t buy shit. And besides, they are independent free companies that can make their own policies as they see fit, which means they should be free from bullshit protests. If you don’t like that Nordstrom’s isn’t telling its customers "Merry Christmas", I have an idea of how you can show your displeasure – it is called "not shopping there." Anything else is for losers. Stop telling people how to live their lives and do your own thrice-dammed Christmas crap.

-His Divine Shadow