Fans of “The Da Vinci Code” can suck it.

 Thanks to Dan Brown, someone who recycles paper has a job. 
I will never read The Da Vinci Code for the same reason I will never see any David Lynch film, because it is over-hyped pretentious trash. I don’t even know what the dam book is about, but I still know it is garbage worthy only of wiping my ass or a one-way trip to the paper-shredder. All I know is that it is a supposedly a religious "thriller novel" written by Dan Brown that has no less than 500 historical "facts" that turn out to be completely fabricated for the sake of making up a good story – and duping gullible sods who read this trite into actually believing they are enlightened scholars of theology based on the reading of one book.

If the hype surrounding this crap isn’t enough to make me never want to read this book, its asshole fans sure as hell are. Nothing pisses me off more than snobby pseudo-intellectuals who think they are enlightened because they red The Da Vinci Code. If any of you are reading this (and you know who you are) take note: READING ONE BOOK DOES NOT MAKE YOU ENLIGHTENED. I am sick of 13-year old know it all assholes thinking they are an expert on religion because they read The Da Vinci Code in between a pot binge and going to Hot Topic. It’s bad enough that I have to deal with dumbasses who "do research" on the so called "facts" in this book (instead of actually reading the actual book) and come to me to repeat the bullshit they found on The Da Vinci Code fansites, like I actually give a damn. The only crap more ridiculous than this are those assholes who think they are Hebrew Mystics after reading a $20 Kabballah at Barnes and Noble. But only just barely, so go to hell.

Well, there is no way I am buying into this fad, because that is what this is. I mean, what’s next, a shitty movie based on this story starring that has-been Tom Hanks? And you thought Scientology was bad when BattleField Earth came out. I wouldn’t be surprised at all if mini-cults composed of goth kids and stuck-up pseudo-intellectuals who hate Christianity start popping up shortly after some dumb bastard decides it is a good idea to hype this cock-vomit further by putting a Hollywood spin on it. Don’t you bastards think it is a little ironic that you say Christians don’t think for themselves when you base your entire belief system on ONE FUCKING FICTION NOVEL? If your answer to that rhetorical question is "no", I’d advise you to stay away from the X-Files and any other conspiracy theory type show/book, lest you start wearing a tin-foil hat to keep the mind-control microwaves out of your head and move to a desolate part of Wyoming to hide from the New World Order. Gullible son-of-a-bitches.

In conclusion, if there is one putrid piece of pop-culture garbage that should have been un-written, it is The Da Vinci Code. And to all those people who think I should read the book anyway and find some religious truth, I say FUCK YOU. I am a Divine Shadow. You don’t get more fucking enlightened than that. And the only enlightenment you will find from asking me again is finding out what my shoe tastes like. Go away.

 I’ve got your "enlightenment" right here, dumbass. 

-His Divine Shadow

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March 16, 2005

You spelled damn wrong sweetie.

Very few people think for themselves. Not because they’re idiots or sheep (some are), but because everything’s already been said. Closest most people can come to thinking for themselves is questioning everything they read, but in the end, their conclusions and beliefs are someone else’s restated. The only time Christians annoy me is when it’s obvious they’ve never questioned their faith.

I have no intentions of reading the book. Conspiracy theorists get on my nerves.

Everybody keeps telling me how much I would love that book. I’m already waist-deep in books I haven’t read yet and need to, so I guess it’ll have to wait.

March 16, 2005

I’ve read the book but I don’t go around telling people to read it. It’s just another fiction novel to me. Being the hot librarian that I am, I read a lot! 🙂 Did you read that I got a ring from John?!?! Ow Ow

Point made and I assume, taken. 🙂

I think they are making a movie on it… sad to say… but thats only hear-say. 13 yr olds… they’re all in a know-it-all “I’m grown-up” stage. Most of them will never leave it… -Vær

March 16, 2005

in response to rex kwon do: nope. not true. everything has not been said. we are no closer to finding the truth behind this or that then we were 500 years ago. what typically happens is we latch onto something half-right, make it our dogmatic truth of the era, and tell everyone to shut the hell up until someone finally shouts out “blow me” loud enough for everyone to listen.

March 16, 2005

close-minded people never learn anything…. but open-minded people will only find in the end that their brains have leaked out onto the floor. why not the happy medium, eh? examine what you actually know. find what appears solid. put the rest to the side for just a while and look to see if you can improve. when you’re hit with something that challenges the solid itself, do the same with both.

March 16, 2005

yeah- the movie’s greenlighted. apparently there’s some albino villian. albinos sense a minority “in”. so now they’re b*tching. yawn. i think the “facts” of the film surround clues in da vinci’s paintings that lead to a realization that a) jesus banged mary magdalene and b) they had kids. this is suddenly gospel despite a) verification only in hearsay print form dating back to.. oh 200 years

March 16, 2005

after Christ (some gnostic gospels and such seem to reinforce the Mary was the #2 power that noone talks about cause she’s a woman, etc.)… why some dude painting a picture and subtly suggesting his beliefs to middle-finger the Catholic Church is supposed to point to fact is beyond me. I don’t have anything against believing Da Vinci painted clues. So f’-ing what, though, you know?

March 16, 2005

RYN: I’m your friend! Too bad we live so far apart! When I visit Cally, I’m hunting you down. As for my friend and her inability to be nice – I will talk to her as soon as I can and let her know her disrespecting sh*t don’t fly with me. The ring – it’s a “I love you lots” ring – but we do plan on marrying. Fall of 2006. Money is the reason we are waiting. We’re a bunch of poor bastards! 🙂

March 16, 2005

ryn: why is that?

Thank you for writing this. Really, thank you.

“I don’t even know what the dam book is about, but I still know it is garbage worthy only of wiping my ass or a one-way trip to the paper-shredder” Dude. C’mon. I’ve heard you rail about uninformed idiots talking trash without going to the source, and yet this is coming from your fingers. What gives?

Also, never read it, and never intend to, but I’m not about to trash it for exactly those reasons.

March 16, 2005

I love dan browns books. I love them so much i want to have his babies. But i can’t say they enlightened me. I just had a good time reading them

funny. i’m more subtle. i’d just remind them that Kings and Queens used to use books to wipe their asses with… because toliet paper wasnt’ available yet

March 16, 2005

Religious fanatics can lick my balls and suck on my ass. phucking gullible pricks, can’t think for themselves, have no common sense and believe anything some moron on the street says or they read in a tabloid. d00d!!! The aliens are going to bring Elvis and Jesus back!! Hooray!As for the DM he can go phuck himself with his new WYSIWIG editor, just another way to make it easier for someone to exploit OD’s security holes.

Excuse me…I have a question… Reading a book on what an IPOD is would enlighten me, would it not? I bet it’d only take me one book to figure it out! You’re a little shit sometimes, CHRIS!!! : )

March 17, 2005

lmao @ “in between a pot binge and going to Hot Topic”

It must hurt to know Christianity began as a cult and will end as a cult. Jebus you’re still writing, I thought you got your dick stuck in the shreader and died or something.

HeY SeXy! Its me, remember me?! I’m back. Hope you didn’t miss me too much, I’ve been through hell and back lately, but here I am, back again, to torture innocent souls. YaY!

March 17, 2005

RYN: Dana is NOT invited – hell no!!! I’d rather have a wedding like outta Sixteen Candles than have that Mo Fo at my wedding! What was your other question…I forget…oh well. We should chat on the phone again. Call me – I don’t have your number since I moved, I lost a lot of numbers. I had it written down and I dont’ know where the paper went. *cries* I love chatting with you.

Ryn: LOL, you know I meant the name in the best way possible.

Hmm. A good rant, but I still think it’d be better if you actually read the thing and THEN complained how shitty it is.

You must be a typical fundamentalist christian looney. You always have a itch to condemn something they have never read or watched. That is a clear indication you don’t know what your talking about,…. may Spongebob Squarepants show up at your house and kick your but.

March 27, 2005

You’re not a very content individual are you? The fact that you must put down something/someone in every entry you write seems to reflect a deep unhappiness in your life. I encourage you to try to find the good in the world and quit being so negative.

March 27, 2005

Btw, I read the notes you left “lonelyat3” and was appalled. If you had any true maturity about you, you wouldn’t put someone down like that. As it appears, you are 23 years old. Your (apparent) inability to use tact and hold your tongue when dealing with people is more of a sign of immaturity and inner-city psuedo-culture than it is someone of your age and intelligence.

March 27, 2005

And, sorry if I offended you by these notes, but you deserved a rebuke for your behavior. Good day and God bless you. Adam

March 30, 2005

Although I did enjoy the book, and the short history lesson within the story. I must agree with you. It was a wonderful book, but over the top when it comes to the fans thinking they know everything through one book. Bravo to you. Na-