Attention World: Shut the hell up.

People just don’t know when to stop. If there is one thing that pisses me off about the world, it is that there are too many jackasses who don’t know when to shut their collective word-holes. I think the most recent example of this aural catastrophe is the news regarding a Tsunami in the Indian Ocean. I am sure that anyone who is not retarded, deaf, or living in a cave in the middle of Death Valley knows what I am talking about. Unfortunately, that is part of the problem.

Is it possible to say that this is a great disaster of massive proportions, accept that it happened, do ones part to help and leave it alone? If so, I don’t see a whole lot of people in the world doing their part to prove that last statement right. If anything, assholes are capitalizing on this genuine tragedy to pump up their profits, sympathy and self-righeous pompousness. Here are my examples:

In the beginning, the US pledged $35 Million dollars to the relief fund to help those out who needed it. However, a lot of countries have criticized the U.S. as being ‘stingy’ with their aid. I am sure a lot of these bastards are the same hypocritical fucks who say that ‘every little bit helps’ to every other jackass they come across as long as it isn’t the United States, but I am getting a head of myself. The point is, there are three incredibly stupid things I am hearing bastards say about this and this shit needs to stop. Saying any of these phrases or anything resembling them within earshot will definitely result in a full-force Divine Rocket Punch to the ribs. And I am not even kidding.

1). THE U.S. IS STINGY WITH THEIR HELP TO THE TSUNAMI VICTIMS!
Too bad you aren’t the U.S. treasury, bitch. The U.S. has money, and they are entitled to do whatever the shit they want with it. It isn’t the world’s money and they shouldn’t have a say in how the U.S. spends it. Does not sending a whole lot of money to aid to a devastated country make the U.S. an asshole? Maybe, but bitching about it isn’t going to make things any different. If you think that the strong that don’t help the weak are assholes, why not send more of your own damn money to compensate for the lack of U.S. relief? Or does the self-righeous arrogance stop when it reaches your checkbook? This goes out to other countries too, not just dipshits with diaries – international aid is about helping people, it’s not a pissing contest. And finally, I am sick of bastards complaining that the U.S. is only donating money to make itself look good or for other ulterior motives, or that the U.S. should be using Iraq war money to help instead. All I have to say is, do you think the people on the ground really give a shit? Or anyone else who isn’t a U.S. hater or conspiracy theorist? Go fuck yourself.

2). BE COOL LIKE I AM AND PLEASE HELP WITH TSUNAMI RELIEF BY CALLING THIS NUMBER/VISITING THIS WEBSITE! IF YOU DON’T YOU ARE CRUEL BASTARD.
No, you are the one being cruel by opening your mouth in the first place. Stop bitching to people to help the countries affected by this natural disaster. We see the news and we know what happened. If people want to help out, they will. If people are so determined to use their hard earned money to help those less fortunate than themselves, they will figure out how to do it on their own and do it. If they can’t help (or just don’t feel like it), nothing you say or do will make that any different AND IT’S THEIR CHOICE. Do you really think that trying to guilt people into helping is the right solution? Go fuck yourself, nobody thinks you are some kind of saint just because you sent $20 to the International Red Cross, and doing so does not make you better than people who genuinely can’t afford to help. You aren’t doing the world a favor by trying to look like a do-gooder posting recruitment links to aid sites either. I don’t know about you, but I sure miss the days when people just helped out and shut the hell up. Which brings me to my third point.

3). I CELEBRITY SO-AND-SO, AM HELPING WITH TSUNAMI RELIEF. I RULE.
No, you don’t. Celebrities need to shut the hell up too. I think it is great that celebrities can dip into their massive funds to send what seems to normal people to be a huge chunk of change to some third world country but is in fact probably what they paid for their last pair of shoes last week to “help”. And I don’t have any problem with that, since it is “their money.” What I do have a problem with is their trumpeting their good deed to get gold star praise from the worshipping masses, like anyone really gives a shit. The way I see it, sending aid isn’t supposed to be part of a publicity package – it’s supposed to be done to help people. Too bad dirtbag celebrities are only interested in helping themselves. So congratulations to Sandra Bullock for donating $1 million dollars to the tsunami relief fund, most of which you garnered through your recent series of box office flops. Maybe now people will come see you in Miss Congeniality 2, even though everyone knows it will be another piece of shit. Powers only can hope that no asshole makes a movie out of this catastrophe, hyping it up further and claiming that profits will go to help the people afflicted in this very real calamity. Yeah, after they pay the actors, producers, directors, special FX gurus, and every other dumbass who has turned death and destruction into another marketing scam that every bastard movie goer falls for.

Everyday I go on from now on, an hour doesn’t go by that I can’t turn on the news and see another dipshit talking about a disaster that nobody can do anything about. Death counts are increasing, as if that makes it any more tragic and any more worthy of attention and help. Jackasses both on OpenDiary and in the news media are apologizing about suffering they had no part in creating or sustaining, as if to relieve themselves of guilt that they shouldn’t even been feeling to begin with. Which reminds me, why do so many of you sorry self-righteous sons of bitches make shitty comments that don’t make sense like “how can you be happy/have fun/laugh/joke at a time like this?” Newsflash you pompous prick: moping never helped anyone, get over it. Unless you actually lost someone over in southern Asia, were caught in it yourself, or are over there helping out in the relief effort, stop acting like you somehow have any idea what is going on.

More gruesome pics, neat charts and images, along with falsified quotes, irresponsibly used footage, and “SPECIAL REPORTS” are being presented by dickhead journalists in hopes that they will attract more publicity, turn a genuine disaster into a ratings magnet so they can justify their fat paychecks, and who knows, maybe a Pulitzer prize. I guess other important news isn’t really a top priority anymore, not when sensationalized news for good ratings are always on the front page. Too bad they don’t make a special prize for acting like a total self-serving bitch. I know that if it were, it would be awarded to two self-important pieces of shit: religious people actually trying to explain away a disaster and conspiracy theorists who are looking for someone to blame.

I can’t even count on my hands and feet how many people are trying to reconcile their faith with what happened. Some people say that itwas the work of the devil. Others say that GOD is punishing the “heathens” of that realm or that it is the beginning of the End of Days. Still more people say that this is nature rebelling against man’s hubris against her, or that this disaster has nothing to do with GOD because those people were innocent and how can a GOD so supreme and good have anything to do with such death and destruction? There IS however, one thing that all people who don’t have their heads up their asses can agree upon: nobody gives a shit.

Finally, I was just thinking about why this hasn’t happened yet, but sure enough, today after returning from work, I was greeted with yet another story of “breaking news” concerning how jackasses with nothing better to do than to jerk off to the sound of Art Bell’s voice and make up stories about how aliens are controlling the world are now trying to explain away how everything from aliens to the U.S. government is responsible for the disaster. I never thought that anything could trump the incredibly ridiculous conspiracy theories of the “stolen election” of 2004 until I red this garbage. If I took a shit on The Enquirer, the result would be more believable and credible news than what is being peddled by these sorry assholes. If there is one thing more despicable than self-righteous losers using this disaster to make themselves feel better than others, it is the morons who are trying to become experts on it, as if watching reruns of the X-Files on FX makes them an expert on anything other than how to act like a complete cock-bite.

I can tell you this much, I am still waiting for someone to blame Bush for this disaster. Powers know plenty of morons blame him for everything else that no one human being could possibly have any kind of control over. And I know that train is never late.

That’s all I will have to say on the matter. And for anyone who is about to bitch that I made the problem worse by writing this entry at all, that I am an insensitive jackass for not suggesting ways to help or moping along with every other useless turd who thinks that will actually make things better, or want to know how much I helped financially, kiss my ass. It’s none of your damned business and nobody asked you to read this entry. Piss off and die.

-His Divine Shadow