Things I’m thinking about

Work
– Boss sent the the shop guys home at 8:30am. Not good. We don’t have any work right now and I’m all out of plans to bid out. Beyond this Casey mentions to me he may put me back to part time status again. I worked the whole shift today and at the day’s end called him and asked what was going on tomorrow, going as far as saying "Am I working tomorrow?" He said without pause yes that he needs me in tomorrow as he’ll be running around. I really need to be full time and was in mental anguish trying to bring my mind around to the reality that I may be home tuesday/thursdays again. Monentarily this won’t bode well, despite being about to scrap it together with the rent this was supposed to be our upswing. Everytime in my life things appear to be moving toward a positive path there is a negative event that jars me away.

Economy
– This shit has got to get better, it isn’t even a matter of how at this point. Long Island is hurting, we used to have good industrial companies here – grumman, arkwin, etc. It seems almost synchronized with the industry’s departure in the 80’s that taxes began to rise. Now people are leaving the island in droves, each year it seems they just make it more difficult for the common man to live here.

Little Joe
– He’s awesome, yesterday when i went to pick him up I stepped in my in-law’s kitchen and he came running up to me with his arms up and screaming "Daaaaaaaaadeeeeeee!". When I swooped him up my little guy just wrapped his arms around my neck and it just shook me to the bone at how lucky I was. I see him smile and it brightens me. Lately, in the last three days we would get home and while he’s playing I lay down on the living room floor with my knees up, he climbs on top of me and sets his head back against my legs and uses me like a lounge chair. I love it.  Also on Monday he pointed at a bottle of heineken in my mom’s fridge and said "beer!" and stabbed the air in a demanding fashion. I have to say I am proud.

Garden
– Tomatoes are looking good but more importantly my Dill’s Atlantic pumpkins are greater than a foot in diameter and  continuing to grow, I think I have 60 days left in the growing season and am content with the prospect of having a pumpkin big enough for little Joe to pass through. I’m thinking that if they grow to typical size (4’0" + tall) I can use my chainsaw to cut out a doorway and maybe a window. I think Joe would get a kick out of running through it.

Marriage
– Counseling tomorrow. Sex remains an issue, I’ve voiced my issues during therapy and I just don’t think she’s listening. Maybe I just need to own up to the reality that I’m stuck with this problem. No matter how nice a husband I can be isn’t going to affect the fact she is just not going to change if this is even possible. Sometimes I think she knows exactly what she’s doing. You see, a man doesn’t act like a gentleman towards a woman and he’s a pig. A woman holds back sex from her husband and it’s called funny and he’s still called a pig for asking for sex. Doesn’t matter what chores I do or how easy I could make it for her when she comes home it isn’t going to change the fact she chooses to withold intimacy with her husband. I still have my needs and honestly push is going to come to shove.