Sunday nights

It is windy and wet. The weather is strummed with howling wind and the frenetic cadence of my windchime outside as the wind spasms in its speed.

It is lonely here. My wife works sometimes until midnight on Sunday. I’ve been to  the gym 3 times this week. Working on myself, trying to find myself again.

Having a hard time with Nina, mainly because if I try to show my interest in her I am repelled as if she couldn’t be bothered.  The more this happens the more I question if I should even make any attempts of affection.  I feel as if I am simply performing janitorial/handyman services here.  I feel foreign and often have a sense that I am unwanted.

She will get home and speak of being exhausted but then will proceed to stay up for 2 hours on her phone.

Intimacy (if you want to call it that) is dictated by her. When she chooses to ration it out she does and believes I should be greatful for it. Didn’t know this was how it was going to be.

At least I have my kids, they love me.