My day…

So today was relatively even keel. I had last night’s tour and yet when little Joe woke up this morning Nina wasn’t feeling well and I got up anyhow. I was really hoping to sleep but this did not happen. This is on top of the fact I told her that I would do last night’s tour into the morning. Bah, whatever it really isn’t a big deal in the long run, I was just really hoping to catch some extra zzz’s.

What was supposed to be a quick change of a closet clothing bar from warping wood to a steel post became a complete closet revamp and elimination of clothes that didn’t fit. At one point my stomach was screaming and I defaulted with a PB&J for the sake of ease in making.

Honestly PB&J sometimes will suffice when I am lazy and don’t want to nosh on finger foods like polly-o sticks or pepperoni slices out of the fridge.

After this I stepped out grabbed some 93 octane from the station and a 7-11 coffee and went back to the house to mix up my chainsaw fuel.  Little Joe was about to fall asleep so I held off and made busy with other bullshit chores about the house. But when he finally woke up I dismembered the sickly paper birch that had fallen during the storm last month. It’s sickly cousin that stands on the other end of the property by the mailbox is the next on my hit list. Birch burns so nicely.

The more I handle this chainsaw the more comfortable I become and the practicality of having it is a real bonus with all this wood.

Dinner at my parents actually happened despite a rabid fight that occured yesterday with my mom. It all stems from my mom & nina’s clashing lately. Mostly over the rearing of our son and specifically the manner in which we dress him. My mother thinks that if you don’t have five layers on the child between the house & car & back again that he’s going to fall ill. Anyhow mom & nina had a conversation yesterday that deteriorated poorly and well Nina just told her she couldn’t talk anymore and told her she was hanging up, well that sent my mom into a bitter mood and she was quite colorful just to put it mildly.

Right now, I have a headache and I’ve already taken 2 tylenol, hopefully this annoyance will go away. Most times I remain in denial long enough that it goes away, here’s to hoping.

Anyhow that’s it for tonight…
 

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April 19, 2010

ryn: true. i think my habitual way of presenting a false people pleasing self instead of centered authentic self had the effect of drawing men who were just as immature as me. they needed to be seen as perfect, and i obligingly pretended it so they would love “me”. but, didn’t work. you are right. i hope to be able to live the type of relationship you described, as i get better at being real.

April 19, 2010

hope your headache went away, and good luck at unraveling the things that unravel you and your wife… with affection, from your OD sis,

conflicts are hard; and raising kids is prime fodder. hope they solve it before Joe figures out how to take sides and manipulate them both lol