Just me.

To let understanding stop at what cannot be understood is a high attainment. Those who cannot do it will be destroyed on the lathe of heaven

No bottles to make.

No diapers to change.

No tiptoeing outside his bedroom.

No slippers at the bottom of the stairs so she’s them right away.

Just me.

I thought that perhaps things would seem so calm and yet the very silence that is supposed to soothe me is almost unnerving.

Work tomorrow though, and hopefully the weekend’s events will bring me the oasis of peace I need.

I just need to get away, my family asks what I’m going for and granted I have a firm itinerary my ultimate goal is to release, obfuscate into a sea of nameless faces and rebalance myself somehow. I know, it doesn’t happen in one weekend, one year nor do I expect it to happen that way. I just feel so coiled and angry it isn’t good for me. At every question she asks I’m on guard and my tone and attitude is so negative.

I’m not that person.

I just want to be the old me. The real me.