Implosion…..

Today I went out with my family and we had an argument, and like many other times my words, opinions and feelings were trampled, sent through the shredder and flushed down the toilet, one pound of tears at a time. I feel as if someone gutted and removed everything that I value in my life from my very soul. I feel devoid of anything which could stretch a smile across my face. It throbs within me as if someone is bludgeoning me from the inside and I can’t stop it. I’m sitting here, my face a waterfall front of tears. Yet I’m alone right now. Alone. I’m going out with Jennifer tonight, if I’m lucky I can get out the tears now, she doesn’t need to deal with this, this weakness.

So here I am, wiping the last tears from my eyes as I accept what’s been all along. Bucco nel l`aqua My father always said. That’s me.

I’ll be quiet, and bother none…I’ll be accepting, of this fate, this malign destiny. Perhaps there is safety in the mere shadow of what was. Or what might’ve never been.

Adios