Can’t Sleep

It’s 12:51am right now.

I retired this evening at 11:15pm and Nina came up fifteen minutes later after watching t.v./trolling the net for an hour after she got home to wind down.

She then asks me if it’s ok if she read in bed and I said sure no problem.

That was at 11:30pm.

Her bedside light ended up proving a problem for me and my sleep and at 12:15am I turned over to see her still reading.

Granted it must’ve been a good book but damn? 45 minutes later and you still aren’t wound down enough to fall asleep.

Meanwhile when she did come up to bed I asked her about us fooling around and she just shook her head. I only asked because earlier when she came downstairs and I was scrubbing the carrots she pulled from the garden she was wearing a simple but revealing cotton nightie. Nothing trashy but it flattered her figure.

So like any normal husband (?) I get turned on.

So at this point when she finally turns off the light after I asked her if she was going to be reading much longer she asks me to "come closer" meaning please make me comfortable so I can fall asleep and well getting that close got me immediately erect. I could’ve put a hole through the wall with the angry erection in my shorts. I can’t help but trying to make advances only to be asked to go to my side of the bed.

So now I’m wide awake, horny and angry that she took her sweet time to read and now that she’s comfortable upstairs and no doubt asleep I am stuck downstairs typing by the light of this laptop.

Sometimes I just feel so pathetic, it’s like what is wrong with me that I have devolved to the point that I have to practically beg my wife to make love?

Honestly this is just upsetting.

I know, not a travesty, no one’s dying no one’s sick, no one lost their home or an arm or their sight but I’m trying to do the right things and yet I feel like I am just at a shitty end of a situation.

But hey, you’ve heard this same rant a thousand times before on this diary so what does it matter now Joe?

Why do you matter at all?