Will I Ever Find It?

Dear Diary,

You know, I’ve been doing some thinking lately. I’ve been single for 2 years now. I’ve tried to put myself out there. But do you know how hard it is to date in today’s day and time? I even tried online dating. I set myself up on Match and even paid for a 3-month subscription. Why is hooking up the “in” thing to do anymore? I seriously do not want to hook up or be a friends with benefits. I want something real and lasting. I’m in my 30’s. I have a decent career, I have a car, and I own my own home. I’ve even been told I am a great catch. And yet, here I am, always coming home to an empty house. Well, aside from the ever loving fur babies. Sure, I have some emotional baggage, but who doesn’t?  Maybe it’s because I am upfront and honest with my past that scares them away? I don’t know. I just want to be loved though and not used. Someone that I can talk to and feel safe and secure with. Someone I can trust. And most of all, someone that loves me. All over me. The good, the bad, and the ugly. Why is that so hard to find?

Those are my thoughts for the night, Diary. Good night!

Your Friend,

That Girl