Happy

Dear Diary,

So this is what happiness feels like? D is one of the most truly amazing men I have ever felt in my life. I know it’s only been 2 1/2 months with him, but I am truly falling in love with him. Every day he makes me feel like I am the most beautiful woman in the world. Even when my hair is a mess, no make up, and morning breath (though I am usually quick to brush my teeth first thing). The way he is always having to touch me, usually with his arm around my waist or holding my hand. The way he’s always kissing my forehead or the top of my head. The way he hugs me. The way he calms my storms. The way remembers even the smallest detail about me. I can honestly see a future with this wonderful man. He makes me feel like no other man has ever made me feel. Loved. Protected. BEAUTIFUL! It always takes one man to show you that you’ve never been properly loved. I found this man. How in the world did I get so lucky? I don’t know what I did to deserve him, but I thank God every day for bringing him in my life. I honestly was giving up on love. I was becoming content in my loneliness. I was accepting the fact that it was going to be me and my cat for the rest of my life. I said that right…..the rest of my life…because I was giving up on everything. D saved me from me. He just doesn’t know it. 

I’ve opened up to him more than I have opened up to most people in my life. He’s seen my anxiety in action a couple of times now, but he has not seen my depression. I finally opened up about it. It was hard explaining to him about the thoughts that race through my head. And how hard it is for me at times. Sometimes it hits me out of the blue (year round)…but mostly around my birthday and in the winter months. He was so good the whole time I was talking about it. I haven’t scared him off yet. He basically said that he isn’t going anywhere and he’s not letting me go anywhere either. It’s a nice thought, but I can’t help what goes on in my head.

What else is wonderful about this man of mine? Well, he brings a different girl out in me. I am doing things with him I told myself I’d NEVER do EVER! He brings the animal out in me. May be a TMI, but I feel that this is crucial because I feel this is something that is helping me to get over my past. I feel like this is something that will help this be a successful relationship. I’ve never been this “hungry” for my man in any relationship I’ve ever been in. I feel myself evolving with this one. And I feel that this is a GOOD thing. And just to see him as pleased as he has been makes me even more happy. Happy that I can do that for him. Like I said Diary, I am falling hard for him. I’m just hoping things continue the way they are, because he’s the one I want to grow old with. 

Anyway, I’m sorry I can’t stop talking about the wonderful man in my life. But this is happiness for me and I am just happy to have a positive entry for once. 

Until next time!

Your Friend,

That Girl