Tuesday, October 1, 2024

I came back here to check in! I got a lot done yesterday. Not nearly everything I wanted to…but I always underestimate how long it takes me to go through clothes…I have some odd attachment to my clothes…and I don’t even know why because I don’t really like any of them anymore! I think it may be the fact that I just don’t have it in my budget right now to replace them. On the other hand, I clearly have too many if it takes me so long to go through them all! I am also working with VERY limited closet space…and I feel like folding everything just takes up even more room. I have a laundry basket left to sort and then the rest of the clothes in the garage to put into “sell online” or “donate” and between today and tomorrow, I should be able to get that done.

I’m suppose to go help my sister move her stuff this morning. She closed on her house at 9 and her, my other sister, and brother-in-law are at her old house moving the big furniture out. Apparently, her ex kicked her out last night…he doesn’t even own the house anymore, but his uncle does. They got into an argument and that’s his favorite thing to do now is just…kick her out and then threaten to charge her with trespassing. He reminds me to a “T” of my narcissistic ex. She keeps saying that no one understands and that she has no help, etc. It really gets under my skin because I DIDN’T have any help 10 years ago when I was going through the same shit. It was honestly worse because all of my family took my ex’s side because I kept quiet about all of the narcissistic bullshit I put up with…and then the manipulation. He manipulated everyone around me, made sure I was completely alone. That was the loneliest time of my entire life. I moved everything by myself, went through the divorce alone…all of it. I had no one to call to help. And then it happened all over again a couple years later. I’ve never had help moving anything. It only took all of those 10 years for my family to realize what had really gone on…and how he really is…and to say it was hard feels like such an understatement. And now my sisters going through it…with a lot more help. I’ve mentioned it before, “person you needed when you were younger.” I’m trying so hard to put aside my own feelings to help her through this, but it is really hard to hear her complain about how much help she needs vs what she’s getting. She expects a lot.

We can only compare our situations to what we know though…so I guess that’s what’s happening.

I want to get back somewhat early so I can finish my stuff. My roommate leaves tomorrow and like I said, I really want to just be able to get creative during that time and not worry about all of the house-type things to do.

My mom just called and asked if I had talked to my sister…so I basically explained what I just wrote out and she could understand the reasons I feel that way that I do. She said it’s probably because all of this is bringing up all of those bad memories I have from when I was going through it and doing it all alone.

She was calling to ask about going to margarita festival and an art festival while we are down there which is SO EXCITING to me. I can’t wait.

My sister is still at her house so I am going to wait a little bit longer before I head over there. I bought my nephew a cute little basketball hoop laundry bag that hangs on the wall for his birthday. That was on my to-do list. Hah.