Day 1 – 307/365

I want to start calculating and making a way for me to find accountability within myself.  Showing up in this space is important to me even if just for the accountability aspect.

Woke up at 7:50 this morning – goal for the weekends is 8, so we’re good there!

I wrote and read this morning…and I just want to make sure that I am keeping a written journal – I don’t want to turn to my screens before getting everything out that I slept over.

I am going to start with coaching on Monday.  I really want to make this a life change.

My book that I’ve decided to read to kick all of this off couldn’t start more perfectly.  It’s Brene Brown’s “Atlas of the Heart”.  I wrote down a few of her quotes from the introduction of the book – I haven’t even made it to Chapter 1 yet and I’m already wishing I could screenshot every word!

”My people die with a look of defiance on their face and shit in every drawer.”  This brings to the my attention the fact that I really want to declutter and get rid of some of the shit taking up so much physical space…as well as mental space.  The house and my head will be so much lighter if I just get rid of all of the excess.

“…new choices and second chances.”  This is my new choice and my second chance at doing life mindfully and with intention.  And just because I’ve been doing something for so long does not mean it needs to continue to exist.  I need to change the defaults in my life.

“…the language and skill to align the love we feel with the way we actually show up with each other…”. This is my main reason I feel like I want to change the way I’ve been living and dealing with things…well actually, the way I’ve been avoiding things.  I’ve been running away from all of the things in my life with substance and/or excuse.  I want to learn to cope in a healthy way, face the obstacles of life in a productive way…and not try to run or hide…because they’re always right there where I left them when I wake up in the morning.

I want to show up for myself in a positive way…and I want to be able to show up for the people I love in a positive way.  I want to end this cycle that I’ve been apart of since a very young age because that’s the cycle my parents were, and are still, apart of.

It’s been a nice slow, Saturday morning.  I am thankful for that.  Now to plan the day 🙂

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