Prayer to Hathor

Hathor, Goddess of Love, Joy and Beauty

Tomorrow I will have lunch with the woman I love. She sent me an e-mail asking if I had time. Of course I have time. I never thought I would ask a Goddess to give me the love of someone, since I was accustomed to praying to a monotheist, only God. In the hope he was almighty. There is not such a thing as being almighty, it is strictly illogical. God in the way I used to think about him surely was not here to hear prayers such the one I am addressing to you now. I still need to figure out what I believe in, but I like to think to pray to you tonight. The God I used to believe never gave me the affection of the one I love, on the contrary: it seems to me that the more I loved someone, the more he managed to have them rejecting me. I confess that I feel like I have been praying to the devil 38 years long. I prayed to the God who abandoned my Lord Jesus on the cross, how can this being hear my prayers asking for the affection of the ones I love?

But let us leave those thoughts aside. I happened to have many crushes in the past, but I was rarely reciprocated in my feelings. I guess I still have to learn exactly what love is, but this time I met a woman who makes me feel in a way that I never felt before. Our first meeting was not the best possible. I remember that she was my Professor, and, since she has experience with people with mental illness, she would talk about it in a way that sounded disrespectful to me. This because she used the term “asylum” instead of “psychiatric hospital”, which is very common here, but made me feel extremely humiliated. Since I am an expert in communication, I communicated my distress to her in an e-mail. Notice, she still was in a power position towards me: I did a very risky thing. I sent her an e-mail in which I explained to her that I had spent more than 10 years in an “asylum”, that I met Death more than once and that I expected respect for the ones like me and well, for myself either. She replied almost immediately, apologising and showing me her project with a group of mentally ill people, with whom she runs a radio station in Italy. From that moment, we became almost “friends”, if I may say so.

After I passed her exam, I decided to send her a part of the report I am writing about my experience in psychiatry and also my life in general. She was positively impressed. She became someone special. In our University, we have a very close contact to our Professors. We are not many students, and Professors know us by name. She learnt my name very quickly, and we happened to meet a couple of times for a chat and a coffee. I started having feelings for her. I searched the web to see if I could find something on her, and she is well known for her academic merits.

Now, I will come to my prayer to you. I know it sounds absurd, but I do not exclude Professor Cristina being homosexual. So, maybe, I could potentially become the target of her affection exactly as she is the target of mine. Can you help me? I ask very directly. I would like to meet her tomorrow knowing you are by my side, and knowing I am not loving in vain, once again. Maybe love is never vain, but I would like something to happen.

You would not do a favour to an ungrateful person.
With respect and devotion
Flaminia