Festival, work, enthusiasm

I have been to Fribourg for four days. My mother did not want me to go, but it was a great occasion for my future career. I was there as a member of the jury of a film festival. I was there to represent my University. So… I would have never said no to this. Not for my parents. They do not deserve it and they can be a couple of days without me. Even if they complain, they can. I am just an object of their personal property, but in fact I know it is just their point of view; I am a fully independent person, with a life to live and dreams to make come true. It was just fabulous. I did not really enjoy the company of the other members of the jury, we were all a little by ourselves exploring the city on our own. We were together during the projections of the movies, and we had to deliberate to assign the prize. For the rest of the time, I decided to stay alone, and I had a lot of fun. I like to be on my own, to walk through an unknown place without a target. To do whatever I please. To stop by a beautiful old house and spontaneously drink a coffee in front of it just to admire it a little bit longer. To go to the hairdresser in a shopping center just because I feel like it. To take a shower at midnight after a party.

During the festival, I also received a very interesting job offer by two Professors. They work at my University, and they are leading a research project fully founded by the Swiss National Fund about film festivals in particular, and about how these events develop on the territory on which they are hosted. They need someone to replace a post-doc researcher who left the project, and they decided to hire me, even if I am just a master student. Well, this honored me very much and also, this will make me earn some money, which is always a positive thing.

I needed to keep track of these positive events of my life here, because at home I am surrounded by negative inputs. My mother is chronically ill, but she fails to recognize the only illness she is really affected by: hypochondria, hand in hand with growing dementia. I constantly need to take her to a doctor, may it be the cardiologist, the dermatologist, the GP, and I am sure that if I had another boss, I would have already been fired. Fortunately, I can arrange my work hours a little as I please: if I leave one hour earlier, I can compensate with on hour the next day, for instance. Anyway, I will attach one more week at the end of the internship to compensate for all the times I had to step in for my mother’s “emergencies”.

I have one desire for my future life. To travel alone. I gave up parship, tinder, lesarion, and all the platforms to find a girlfriend. I do not wish anybody at my side. It is just forcing things. If I have to rely on such networks to have someone, I think I should rather give up and enjoy my life on my own. Notice, I think it is great that such platforms exist, but they totally erase the romantic part of finding a partner. It seems very much like signing a contract. You like my face, I like your face, let’s meet. I need to see a girl, maybe speak to her for a while, notice if I like the sound of her voice, the way she talks, if she talks in a manner I like, maybe invite her to dance. Offer her a drink and walk with her for a while, and then see if there is a sparkle or not. All this is not possible trough the networks. The romantic part of it is just reduced in smilies and emojis, and if I am a great fan of social networks for many things, I still think that I have to find my girlfriend out there, even if I know much better the virtual world than the “real” one.

I think that what characterizes me the most is my Enthusiasm, and this cannot be read between the lines on a chat.