Disappointed or rather confused?

Today my father told me something which left me very disappointed. Disappointed with one of the people I admire the most. Doctor Livio. Let’s start from the beginning. 

A few months ago, a terrible story shook the whole province. A sport teacher, who used to train young people, was found out "liking" young girls and boys, and now I let your imagination draw the logical conclusion. Yes, exactly: he abused the young people sexually. This loathsome behavior went on and on for years, until someone discovered it and shed some light on the matter. At this point, many victims found the courage to speak, and they are many. I can tell you. The fellow is a pedophile.

Now, during these day the trial against this "man" – I don’t even think such a monster can still be defined a human – will take place, and the lawyer of the defense required a psychiatrist’s report. The Public Prosecutor’s Office already had a psychiatrist’s report about that monster, and it stated that he was totally able to understand what he was doing to the young people and that he is 100% liable for what he did. But the defense tries to make him appear not responsible for his actions, thus not liable for what he did, which means that the sentence might be mild and / or he might land in a psychiatric hospital instead of in prison. I never was in prison, just saw one once at the time I was a law student. I already saw a forensic ward, just because I once landed there in an isolation cell since there was no free isolation cell on the other isolation wards and I needed to be isolated (so the doctor said). A psychiatric hospital is much better than a prison. The guy should land in prison and pay a heavy price for what he did. Anyway. 

Now, guess who is the psychiatrist making the report in favor of that criminal? Doctor Livio. 

The world is full of psychiatrists. Why, why is Doctor Livio the one who has to take the part of a monster? I don’t have the right to judge anybody, not even that pedophile, I am a sinner as well. I am as a principle a thought criminal, and I did many horrible things in my life. As the song of Manic Street Preachers goes, "Gravity keeps my head down, or is it maybe shame… at being so young and being so vain.". I don’t know why, but I am very sensitive to everything which concerns sexual crimes. Sometimes I think that rape can be even worse than murder, because the victim gets killed inside all her / his life long. Maybe I miss something, maybe there is a reason to become a pedophile, I just don’t see it. If someone gets abused as he / she was a child, for example, is this a reason to do the same to others? Marvin was sexually abused and beaten by his father all his childhood long; his mother ignored it and was happy when her husband had his fun with Marvin, so she didn’t have to have sex with a man she did not love. Marvin became a good father. He never ever thought of harming his children, of beating them or his wife. 

I spent the whole morning fighting with my computer which did not want to put footnotes on a document I’m working on, and fighting not to think about Doctor Livio and his involvement in this trial. It was the most frustrating morning ever. I never idealized Doctor Livio, I can be critic and do not consider him as a God. There is only one God, and He is the one Whose light I want to follow, forever. But I consider Doctor Livio a man of great integrity and honesty, so if he accepted to report that the fellow was not liable for what he did to those poor young people, it must be because he really believes and he is convinced it was so. If there is something I firmly believe is that Doctor Livio does not lie. 

Anyway, fourteen days left until I can see him…