Community and work

Yesterday I decided to overcome my antipathy for social events and went to a concert. Oh, not a rock concert; that would have maybe been nice. It was the concert of a local folk band, where my dearest friend Athena, her sister, and my future boss, who is the husband of Athena’s sister, play. I know Athena’s parents very well, I sat with them but I noticed that I was out of place. They have the very bad habit of not introducing people to their acquaintances – so that every time they were approached by someone, I was there like an idiot, not knowing if I had to introduce myself or just keep silent. In the end, Athena’s father talked to a man who I supposed was my boss’ father, so that I asked him. I introduced myself, and I told him that I will work with his son for three months at the archive.

I noticed that those people are a community. The whole town came there to see the concert. The room was full. Even the priest was there. Athena now lives in the German speaking part of Switzerland, where she feels like a foreigner and where she did not even pick up the dialect. She must suffer a great deal, because I saw that those people are united, they all know each other, they are ready to support each other, they are a small entity but full of empathy for the needs of their neighbors.

I have never been part of such a community. Moreover, all those people, younger and older, have families, boyfriends or girlfriends, children. They are all very conventional. With 30, you have to be married and have offspring. I could never be part of such a body, and once again I feel very different and excluded from any form of community. My peers are all married, have a job, they have a totally different life than me. I am like my 25-year-old University mates, who still do not know what to do with their future and mostly have only occasional relationships – and do not think about children, as they are too young to plan a family yet. Paradoxically, I feel better among younger people than among my peers. The company of peers make me aware of the fact that I am delayed, forever delayed, on my life schedule.

Well, I am 38 and tomorrow is my first day of work – wow! Let us say, the first day of a work I have an education in. I have already worked, but never somewhere where I could put my knowledge into practice. Sometimes I still need to realize that I have a University Bachelor degree, so that I am able to perform academic work, and I should maybe have more confidence in my capabilities. All this is so incredible and overwhelming that I do not even believe it is true.

Wish me good luck, I would appreciate your prayers for tomorrow and with that being said, I’m off for today.