FAT…Catfish..

Song: Cat Stevens: The Wind.. http://www.youtube.com/watch

Have you ever watched that show Catfish? It’s about people having full blown relationships with strangers. I have just watched an episode, it’s very hard to watch. Because you feel for the person who is being lied to, but you also feel so incredibly sorry for the person who made this online persona… Most of them are overweight girls, who have been bullied in high school. Pretending to be beautiful skinny girls. To both men and women.

But one thing they all have in common is that they are good people, underneath the fake profiles, they are just hiding what they look like. That’s the thing.

Both the men and women are in love with a voice on the end of the phone. But really they are in love with a photo. In love with what is deemed attractive. The voice on the end of the phone gives them the emotional things they need.. and the claim they are in love with the "person" yet on this show most of the MEN, reject the real person when they met her, and most of the girls, well they seem to forgive and understand Why "she" pretended to be this attractive person.

Although I was lucky enough to never been bullied, I can understand how these girls feel. The world is made up of amazing beautiful skinny girls. And that’s what men like to look at, like to touch and like to sleep with.

Sometimes you just want someone to see you for who you really are and not who you appear to be on the outside.

As I have gotten older, I know that most males like to look at pretty things, so when I have accepted blind dates, or have gone on a Internet dates… I like to point out that I am not a size 10.. Some I get are not really into to a plus sized girl, and others don’t mind. Most of the time I think it’s me and my fear of getting hurt that has me, well avoiding any worthwhile suitors anyway

I tend to pick men that are, well low risk. I feel more in control if I pick men that perhaps are overweight themselves, maybe a little less attractive.. It sounds so mean, me saying it, but I am so fearful of dating anyone attractive that I just don’t even go there.

In my 20’s I think I was more at ease with who I am more so, then I who I am now. Now at 31 – I feel more unhappy, and more uncomfortable with my size 18/20 body then I have ever before.

People go on about "feeling" more accepting of who you are in your ’30’s’ but honestly… being a chubby childless spinster. Really doesn’t feel all to AMAZING.

And I’m pretty sure women who say that, are married.. They are off the market and don’t need to complete with the endless attractive, younger, thinner, 20 something.

– MEN are like car park spaces. All the good ones are taken, and the only ones left are handicapped. You become so in need that you are willing to park in them, even if it’s only for a moment!