message from josh.. and incubus.

after we’d had a semi-argument and talked about the state of our relationship.

"yes, you’re apologising, i get it. but i have to examine the motives behind the apology n all that now. you’re probably paranoid cos it’s nearing 4 months and i can’t last longer n all that, and it honestly scares me too, because it’s happening exactly like when danni and i split."

I’ve been talking to booms about it for ages. Well, it;s nt really conversing, just me spilling my guts and crying and him trying to relate but failing but trying hard to cheer me up anyways.

"LC.  ( she’s always falling down.) says:
I’m sorry. You don’t need this.

Booms says:
nah its alright im just not great at relating i’m sorry i can’t offer great advice, you have changed a lot and i don’t see why you of all people should be insecure your pretty grand

LC.  ( she’s always falling down.) says:
that made me cry a bit actually, mainly because I’m really emotional atm, but thanks. I could tell you a million reasons as to why I’m insecure, but if the rest of the people in the world were as sweet as you I probably wouldn’t be. If you don’t mind my asking, how have I changed? I’m interested to know.

Booms says:
you seem more adult, you don’t give in to what everyone else expects you to do like giving up drinking and everything

well, there you go.

And as of now I’m not entirely sure what the status of my relationship with josh is, and I’m not sure how i feel. it;s like, i don;t want to break up. I feel more for him than I ever felt for John, which kinda sucks. but at the same time if we do break up It’s good that it’s before school so I can really make a fresh start. but I can bet you two dollars that pretty soon I’m going to hear those infamous words. "I don’t love you anymore. I though I did but I was wrong."

but if you eat the two dollars…

oh, on an edity note, last night Booms invited me to go to melbourne with him to see incubus, and I wouldn’t have to pay for accomodation because he’s already got a place to stay. I finalised booking my tickets this morning. Mum gave me her credit card that had nothing else on it and just said that I can pay the bill when it comes. Awesome sauce.