I’m innocent, put down your weapons. you’re a liar

[Listening To: deftones  ]

grrrrrr. wednesday night, telegraph, pretty wasted, Dave ignoring me. then got invited for a few cones back at Tash’s place, girlfriend of one of Dave’s friends. Went there, ended up back at Jew’s place on the floor with Dave, many times sex ensued, had to catch a bus home on Thursday.

texted Dave asking where I stand. Explained that whatever we’re doing wouldn’t change if he didn’t want it to, no matter what his answer, but I needed to know before I let myself fall harder for him because if his feeling weren’t the same I’d end up getting hurt, so I needed to know now in order to stop that from happening or whatever. he said he’d wb later that night because it needed lots of explaining. got maybe two other messages from him on thursday.. it’s now Saturday and haven’t heard from him since.

Going to th markets today with Stacey, in the rain. Although Jew mentioned that he might be going to the markets. Which indicates that he’ll probably be with Dave. And seeing Dave will make me either really sad or really angry, I can’t decide which.

I’d really like to yell. I hope that happens, that could be fun.

got breath tested last night, it was exciting.

apparently I smoke now…? when did that happen??