Things and Stuff

Hack hackhackhackhack hack hack hack. Achoo Achoo.

I caught a nasty backwards cold. I write “backwards,” because normally I don’t get the chest congestion first. It usually begins in the sinuses first and migrates down to the lungs. Not this time. I started with a scratchy throat and chest congestion and it now feels like a cement mixer just poured a foundation in my sinuses.

I’m supposed to be working, but I’ve been laid out in bed the last two days. 🙁

I’m feeling slightly better now and I hope I feel well enough to get back to work tomorrow. I have a project finish and I could use some cash.

For the work, I have been away from home (at my parents’ place) because the commute is otherwise very long and expensive.

I miss Dasc. The food here is not the healthiest and it’s easier to sleep at home.

I forgot how much I miss OD. I fell into a depression for awhile. I was just stagnate, having no motivation to read much beyond current events and even less motivation to write.

Now I’m forcing myself to write again, even if it is just mundane blog entries. It’s a heck of a lot better than Facebook. While FB has many good qualities like being able to stay in touch or reunite with people, sharing funny things, etc, I find a lot of it to be lack luster and highly stupid. My feeds get clogged with statements full of vitriol, bad grammar, horrible spelling and punctuation and absolutely no willingness to be respectful. I’ve had better interaction with rotted out stumps.

I’m throwing a surprise party for Dasc and actually really need Facebook for that, right now. Plus, a lot of people I want to stay in touch with only do so there. I’m kind of stuck with it, but I need to get back to more enjoyable and much less depressing things.

I’ve watched as far as I can on the most current Doctor Who series. I’m thinking about going through all of the earlier stretches, but I also need to read and write more.

Dasc and I will have at least one class together next term. I suggested we don’t sit together and that we find different study groups because we live together and are around each other all of the time. I love him a lot, but being around anyone 24/7 drives me quite crazy. Before I started leaving town to work, he and I were really getting on each other’s nerves over silly things. Fortunately, we both knew they were silly and it was just that we needed a break from each other every now and then.

The honeymoon period is definitely over, but I’m still very happy and I think Dasc is too. We still laugh at each other and such. I also love how he thinks of little things and does them. He bought me a box of cadbury caramel eggs and gave them to me just because he knew I like them. He does things like that as a “just because,” gesture and while he isn’t the first to do that, he is the first to keep doing it. He is also still very silly and affectionate.

He has helped me with the Zooms. She slipped some discs in her neck and upper-back as well as tore cartilage in her knee. This was about a month and a half ago. We didn’t know what was wrong with her beyond a back injury or something. Since it wasn’t improving at all after a week, he paid the vet bill so she could be treated. The only thing we’ve been able to afford was the vet bill and meds (which he also bought) for her. She seems to be doing much better now, although the vet did say she will need surgery on her knee at some point.

Dasc has done other things for the Zooms too. He bought her a cow femur, which she stripped within a week, but she is still working on the marrow. He has played with her, shared walking duties and has even bathed her. I told him that she is half his now. He asked me why and I said, “Because you have done more for her than anyone else has [more for her besides me].” I can also tell that he loves her.

We can’t always sleep in the same bed because I am a light sleeper and his snoring has gotten much worse. It’s also the worst time of year for me (PTSD) and I’ve been having “nightmares.” I saw my old rapist in a dream, although I didn’t realize it was him, initially. He came up to me and was trying to jog my memory about who he was (he looked a bit different). He finally grabbed me by the arm and told me his name. I yelled, “Get away from me, rapist!” and hit him a couple of times. Well, in reality, I hit Dasc. Luckily, I didn’t hit so hard that i hurt him; it just startled him.

I’m scared of sleeping next to anyone now. I’m amazed the Zooms still wants to sleep with me with all of the thrashing I do. She is so small and has her own PTSD due to the abuse she experienced before I rescued her. She freaks out over things like the smoke detector going off, Dasc getting on a political soap box, loud laughter and sudden movements (although much improved over time). She might start out sleeping in the other bed with Dasc, but she will ultimately find her way to mine.

I wish I could get over my sleep issues. I would like to not be a light sleeper anymore and I would also like to do away with sleep walking, talking in my sleep, combat in my sleep, talking on the phone and answering the door when I’m sleeping. It’s a pain in the ass and incredibly scary. It was especially worrisome when I lived in the ghettos where home invasion robberies were a common occurrence over the summers and sometimes people got shot (one person even died from one of them). Domestic violence, rampant drug use, disorderly conduct and more occurred too. I’m glad the neighborhood I’m in now isn’t bad like that.