The beloved disciple~

Jesus had always been his favorite cousin.  That Jesus would think of him as his beloved disciple brought tears to his eyes.  And to be actively involved in a ministry that would bring God’s kingdom into man’s souls would fulfill a lifetime dream of his. He hasd always zealously sought God in the form of a messiah who would be the warrior king that had been long expected by those who were zealous to see the pagans swept aside by the hand of God.
 
And although Jesus’s symbolism, lately, about dying and rising from the dead was beyond the comprehension of his fellow disciples, John was sure that Jesus was the long expected messiah. And Jesus just recently confirmed Peter’s declaration that he was the annointed one, the Christ who was to come into the world, to reconcile the world to the Father.
So, John mused, when Jesus talked about dying and rising from the dead, was he using one of his parables and saying that he so identified with the Jews, that if his people kept practicing their wicked way, that they would die in their sins? And that Jesus would considered that he would die also, as a fellow Jew?  But even so, if they believe in the messiah, Jesus, they would rise to a new life? 
 
John  was so excited for Jesus.  He had recently said ‘that is a little while I will go to my father. But I will come back for you.."  John couldn’t grapsed how he would be able to see Joseph who had died, but he had long ago believe that with Jesus, nothing was impossible!  So, what a grand reunion Jesus would have with his father.
 
John continue pondering the Master’s words…."I will come back for you, to make a place for you, in my father’s house."  John interrupted that as meaning that the disciples would all be offered good spots in the new kingdom that Jesus would re-establish on earth.
 
As to Jesus’ reference to God as his father, it was unique with Jesus. Most of the pharisees said that it was blasphemous….except for the few wise ones. Pharisees did actually see God as a father of the Jews.  After all, the Jews were the children of God. And all children have a father. That Jesus would make God so personal wasn’t really blasphemous in that sense. It could only be looked on as being blasphemous when he said that he was one with the father, implying equality with God. But even there, some of the wise pharisees interpreted Jesus’s words as a reference to their soul, which was made in the image and likeness of God! "Yes," John mused, there were some pharisees that were very wise and truly loved Jesus!
 
The passover meal was upon them. And John received Jesus into his heart and soul for the first time.  He intuitvely knew that from now on, all things would be anew.  They now travelled to one of their meeting places where they would often rest and meditate upon the words of Jesus…while Jesus spoke to his father.
 
John must had nodded off, when a commotion starteld him awake. Soldiers were falling before him, not knowing that they were saluting the messiah, Jesus, whose kingdom on earth must be at hand!
 
Shocked incomphension spread through John’s mind, as they were leading Jesus away in handcuffs.  "Why is he allowing this humilation to occur," John wondered?  He knew that Jesus must have a good reason. But as confusion reign in the presence of the Roman enemies, he fled.
 
John heard the sentence: crucify him.  "Ha. ha," John thought to himself.."they can’t crucify the messiah"….but next he saw Jesus being whipped.  And he listened to Jesus cry out in agony. "Jesus!" John’s spirit cried.  "Why are you allowing such torture to continue?"
 
 John was in such pain for Jesus! "Now the hated romans are leading my master to the top of a hill."  He couldn’t bear to watch those thugs hammer nails into Jesus’s body.  He openly cried to God, "God, save Jesus. Strike down their evil-doers. Re-establish your kingdom now."   John’s answer to his prayer: they hung Jesus on a cross.
 
John then looked over at Jesus’ mother, Mary.  He ran to her, held her and comforted her.  And they listened to Jesus asking his father to forgive them, for they know not what they do.  And he just offered his kingdom to a thief on the cross. "Today you will be with me in paradise," Jesus said. John was in anguish. "Paradise? This torture was paradise? Or Sheol, the land of the dead, is paradise?"  John could only shake his head in bafflement.
 
Suddenly Jesus is speaking to John. "Son, behold your mother." Then Jesus said to his mother, "Mother, behold your son."  "Behold your mother, John whispered to himself?  Was Jesus going to the father now, and before he returned, was Jesus saying to take care of Mary?  He would surely do that, anything for his master. But how would Jesus return, if he dies?
 
They watched Jesus gather all the remaining strength within him and cried out, "Father into your hands I commit my spirit."
 
As Jesus slumped over, John cried out, too. "He’s gone!  He’s really dead! Those roman murderors." He was going to grab one of those roman clubs and knock senseless as many romans as he could…
 
Just as he was ready to pounce on one of them, Mary cried, "John!  Jesus’s will is for youto take care of me till he returns.  How will his will be done, if you sacrifice your life, right now?"
 
All John could do was cry with Mary for their loss, before John took Mary away to his home.
 
Three days later, Mary Magdalene came to them, uttering the astonishing news that Jesus had perfomed another impossible miracle: that he had conquered death.  John and Peter ran to the tomb. After allowing Peter to first view the miracle, John entered the tomb and thought, "Master, so you actually meant what you said, that you were going to die and rise again from the dead. Oh, Master, I love you so much. I miss you so much. I can’t wait to see you again."
 
His spirit heard Jesus say, "My beloved friend, I can’t wait to share my joy with you, too."