Two Really Great Days

 Well, yesterday was wonderful! I spent the morning writing, much
of it in OD but also other writing. Then my husband and I had
reservations at the Sybaris from 1-5 (swimming pool room, no less) then
we went out to Pete Miller’s for dinner. I had a little too much prime
rib so felt very unwell by the time we got home. That sort of cut our
date night short, but by then we had had boatloads of romantic fun, so
it was fine. I curled up in bed and watched “Shall We Dance” with
Richard Gere and Susan Sarandon.

The Sybaris was incredible.
The swimming pool room is so remarkable. We’ve indulged in their
afternoon getaways a few times before but hadn’t done that in a couple
of years. We just really needed a time like that to reconnect. And
there’s no better way to reconnect then under a waterfall or paddling
in a warm pool all to yourselves with no outside world to bother you.
Stunning! After even just four hours of this you feel like you’ve been
on a week long vacation to Hawaii or something. It is so relaxing and
rejuvenating.

Dinner was great too, but I’m not used to eating
fine foods anymore and I simply ate too much for the amount of food my
stomach can hold. I had sautéed spinach and a serving of prime rib that
was about the half the size of a deck of cards as well as a bite of my
husband’s salmon and a small red potato. I had the rest of my dinner
wrapped up. Unfortunately, I decided to have a bloody mary on top of it
and I think that’s what did me in. By the time I got home I felt
horrible. I had only drunk about forty-percent of the bloody mary but I
just wanted to throw-up (which I did, when I got home). After that
delightful experience, I only wanted to lie in bed. No more romance.
But after four hours of romance at the Sybaris, my husband was not
upset or disappointed. Besides, my son had been on his own all that
time and needed a little company anyway. They hung out while I watched
my movie. So, overall, it was still a wonderful day anyway. I just
think I need to stick to my plain yogurt, tofu and boring stuff and
when I do eat the fancier stuff, go really easy on it.

By this
morning I felt somewhat better, but the high-protein prime rib (which
was probably quite nutritious for me) felt like it was just still
sitting in my system and I thought I’d never want to eat prime rib
again. I was feeling a bit better by the time I had to go to church
which was good as this was my first Sunday actually singing in the
choir. It was so cool, too, because we processed in singing and waving
palms. The children processed in with palms as well and they were
absolutely adorable. It was a wonderful Sunday and a wonderful service
and, afterward, we came home and watched the whole Jesus mini-series I
have on tape and then watched a tape that I got from the Mormon Church
called The Lamb of God because I really just wanted to spend my day
with Jesus today. Although God blesses me all the time, I have felt
ESPECIALLY blessed this week. I have been blessed with some writing
(fiction) and I know it’s come straight from God. And this IS Holy
Week, a time when I sense more then ever what Jesus has done for us.

It’s
not just the crucifixion, although I don’t downplay that at all. I was
thinking even today how horrible that must have been and how horrible
the anticipation of that must have been. There is a physical condition
of stress and fear that one can get oneself into that will cause one to
actually sweat blood and that’s what Jesus did in the Garden of
Gethsemane when He prayed, before He was arrested. So you can imagine
how difficult it was for him to face what was coming. That reminds me
that if Jesus SO wanted NOT to go through with it yet God willed it,
why do I get upset when God wills something I don’t like. Shoot, He
didn’t spare Jesus, His, own pure and Holy Son; I shouldn’t be upset
when He answers, “No,” to some of my prayers, should I? Anyway, like I
was saying, it’s not just the crucifixion though, really. It’s what
came before it as well. If Jesus hadn’t lived a sinless life, the
crucifixion would not have had the power to save us all from sin. So,
before He even went to the cross He had to resist all those little sins
(and big ones) that we face and give into every day, every hour. That
always amazes me as well. And He did it for a bunch of idiots like us
who are so worthless and harmful. That’s what’s really awesome.

So
it was overwhelming at moments to be up in the choir area, so near the
altar and so near the communion… the body of the Lord, the blood of the
Lord. Yes, I know it is simply wafers and wine, but our belief and
God’s spirit gives it the power of Jesus’ body and blood so that when
we take it in to ourselves, that’s what it becomes and HE becomes part
of us.

I once spent some time thinking about horror movies and
some of the things that affect us emotionally to make horror horrible.
I focused especially on the book IT, by Steven King. I was thinking
about that terrifying clown (I have a diarist friend who is really
scared of clowns. This would scare the crap out of YOU.) I seem to
remember a part where the clown has big teeth and I think the
impression was that the clown was going to eat this kid or something. I
got to thinking that there are various things that we humans find
really horrifying and repugnant, one of those things is to come into
certain contact with monsters, corpses, etc… one level is simple touch,
the next level is to be eaten by them until we are dead. I was thinking
that, as humans, it was bad enough to be killed by a monster, but the
thought of being consumed by one would be even more horrifying to us
because that would be like becoming part of it… there was only one
thing more horrible than being eaten by the monster, I realized, and
that would be to EAT the monster yourself… Remember Alien and the
monster bursting out of the guys guts?

What does this have to do
with Jesus and communion? Well, I think that should be obvious. As
humans, what we put into ourselves is meaningful to us. Whose body we
put into ourselves is extremely meaningful to us. We have an instinct.
We somehow know that if we make it a part of us, it REALLY IS a part of
us and so we, by nature, abhor those things that we do not want to have
be part of us.

I want Jesus to be part of me. I want to take
Him into me and have Him take over. I want him to BE ME. That’s why I
love to take communion. The more of Him I can get and the less of me,
the better it is for me – paradoxical as it may seem, that is my
blessing. So it was good for me to be able to worship in close
proximity to the altar and be able to focus so clearly on the Lord.
It’s harder for me to do that out in the congregation because I think
I’ve always struggled with ADD so everything catches my attention. It
takes a lot more work to focus from far away. Today, after such a
blessed service, I just wanted to spend my whole day with Jesus, so
that’s what I did. My son-in-law, my daughter, my granddaughter and I
watched about six hours of Jesus shows. It was wonderful! I only wish I
could really sit down at a table and talk face to face with him. It
will happen – someday!