The Night Before Sugery

12/14 — Okay.. it’s tomorrow!!! I’m so excited I could scream. I’m a little bit scared but not terribly. I figure that my life is going to be drastically different after tomorrow… if all goes well, it will be for the best! Part of me is going, “This kind of stuff doesn’t happen to ME! I never get lucky like this or have my dreams fulfilled!!” But I really do get lucky and really do have my dreams fulfilled… I’m just easily traumatized from times when things haven’t worked out for me (especially with my weight). How many times did i think, “This pill is going to work!” “This diet is really the right one for me.” And I’d imagine what it was going to be like when I was “thin.” I’d get so happy, only to fail — sometimes after a small success, sometimes before an hour was even out.

I am so determined on this procedure. I have read everything I could one what it will be like shortly after the procedure on up to long after and I’m already preparing myself for the things that will be tough, but I’m also dreaming a little bit about the possibility that this might just be successful!!! This might actually work on me. I might actually be a normal size after a year on this!!!!

I am going to do it right… I know I’m an addict and I will go to all of the support group meetings and learn all I can from the educator. After all, she had the surgury three years ago and has managed to keep it off. She must know some tricks!

Pre-Op Statistics (not listed here, in OD)

I read one person’s page that said they pulled down their pics when they found out that people were copying them to chat areas and making fun of them. I have determined to myself that I am not going to hide myself or my surgury. If people laugh or scorn me, shame on them!! It’s their problem. I refuse to be ashamed of who I am and I refused to be ashamed of getting some help to make myself happier and healthier. I don’t care WHO is laughing! Shame on the immature and insensitive people who take pleasure in oppressing others. THEY are the ones with the problem, NOT ME! I proudly put up my pictures knowing that I’m very pleasing to my family and household… whether fat or slim! I, personally, will just be happier if I weight less and I am making a move to be successful!
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