So close, yet blessedly far enough…

I was just reading the diary of a man who lost his son. I can’t tell you how that moved me. My heart tore reading his entries. My God, I can’t even imagine the hurt… even identifying a little bit has made me feel nearly sick. But I read it all… every entry. His sincerety, dignity, and love did something to my insides that I can’t even put into words.

I wasn’t going to write about for various reasons, but now I will. My oldest daughter and I work at the same store. It has provided us with nice part time jobs that go very well with raising children. Her daughter just turned two almost two weeks ago. What a wonderful young family they are… and they have a wonderful future.

Yesterday my daughter went to work in the afternoon. She had tried to reach me to see if I could give her a ride but she couldn’t get ahold of me so she ended up walking most of the way and got there a little bit late. When she got there, she sent the other girl to lunch and “manned” the store herself because the third girl due in was also a little late.

My daughter waited on about six customers then moved over toward the espresso bar. Moments later a car came crashing into the store just about two feet away from her. If she had been at the cash register or still waiting on the customers, she would have been killed. The car was going about forty miles an hour and smashed into the pastry case as well as threw one of the cash registers into the drip coffee machine. Apparently the impact moved the wall back a few inches as well.

Miraculously, nothing hit my daughter! There was one customer in the store who got hit by something and had a bruised leg and possibly broke her ankle, but my daughter was a paramedic before she had the baby, so was able to begin the first aid capably and calmly.

If she had been earlier to work, the other woman would have already returned from lunch and one of them would have been hit by the car. Or, if the young girl who came late had been on time, again one of them would have been hit. But through these blessed coincidences, all were safe and well.

Of course that hasn’t stopped me from “nightmaring” about it all. I kept thinking what if she had been mowed down in her prime. She would have left behind a bereft husband, a truly wonderful and attached two year old daughter, a family that treasures her dearly, and it would have occured three days before my other daughter was due to marry.

I’ve hugged her so many times since yesterday. I think I had started to take her for granted. Being very caught up in my other daughter’s wedding plans, I’ve been focused and lovingly observant of her and her fiance. When I’m with my oldest daughter I’m often paying more attention to the baby. I just thank God so much that he protected her and I need to use this experience as an eye-opener about how much I should cherish every single minute with any of my children.

My heart and prayers go out to the man who lost his son. I don’t understand God’s choices sometimes. Other times I think him for his intervention. Someday maybe it will all make sense but while I live in this world, I’ll never understand why children have to die.