Pizza Hut and Heaven

I was thinking about some stuff from the past earlier today. Years ago,
when I was pregnant with my oldest daughter, I was married to a
Czechoslovakian immigrant who ended up getting his green card then his
U.S. citizenship but when we knew there was no way we could afford this
pregnancy, he joined the army. He was away in basic training and A.I.T.
for a great deal of my pregnancy, then he got stationed at Ft. Knox
where I went to join him. I got to Ft. Knox in late August with the
baby due in late September. We had no car, no money, no nothing. He
rented a tiny trailer for us and we were dirt poor. I remember trying
to catch a bus to the post to see the OB/GYN doctor but wouldn’t stop
for me so I started walking in the hot Kentucky sun. I think somebody
ended up offering me a ride, though.

Up on the corner of the
street our trailer park was on there was a Pizza Hut. Pizza Hut must
have been a new chain back then because I had never seen one before nor
had I ever heard of it but I remember looking in the windows and
thinking that it looked like the most wonderful place in the world.
Lord, I wanted to go in and eat at Pizza Hut SO badly. To me, Pizza Hut
looked like heaven.

There was no way we could ever afford to eat
out. We were living on something like $118/month. That does not allow
for anything extra. I did laundry in an old wringer machine that cost a
nickel to run and we made things like bread torn up and beaten with
eggs and green peppers to eat. It was tough. We had to pawn things to
make it from pay check to pay check and, of course, it cost a fortune
to get stuff back out of hock.

At some point, though, I DID
get to go to Pizza Hut. I think maybe my parents took us there when
they came out to visit us after I had the baby. Man, it was the BEST!
The pizza tasted so delicious, the tomato sauce was so tangy and the
big frosty pitchers of pop bubbled refreshingly across our tongues.

I
was thanking God today that these days I can afford to go to Pizza Hut
ANY TIME I want to. I never really much want to. Pizza Hut has become
very passé for me. I don’t even really care for Pizza Hut pizza and I
don’t drink pop. It doesn’t look like heaven to me when I look into a
Pizza Hut… there’s really no thrill at all. But, I still thank God that
I COULD do it if I wanted to because there WAS a time when it was so
out of reach and was such a big deal to me – just one evening in Pizza
Hut seemed like a luxury. Now I could have that luxury any time I
choose to.

I also remember when I had to pinch pennies and
couldn’t afford to buy Ziplock bags. They were a luxury… I could only
afford twist tie bags. Ziplocks were an occasional expenditure. I had a
friend who used Ziplock bags for anything. She would wrap up leftovers
in them and give them to me and I’d be thinking, “Geez, she’s wasting
those on ME!” I’d cringe at her extravagance. Then, once my husband got
a decent job and I was actually able to afford to buy Ziplocks
regularly, I was so grateful to God. I STILL thank Him regularly when I
pull out those Ziplock bags.

Yes, I have problems. I have some
issues with emotional upsets and mental illness, there’s no doubt about
it. My little emotional apple cart can be easily thrown off balance.
That IS a problem. At the same time, I do NOT forget all that God has
done for me! That same, very emotional, heart goes up to Him with
everything I’ve got and lets Him know with every pore of my being how
much I love Him for changing my life and giving me all I’ve got now…
and I DON’T mean just Pizza Hut and Ziplocks… those are just symbols of
the freedom from bondage, of the self-esteem, of the completely
different life I am experiencing today than I had to live through
earlier.

When I took communion yesterday, I just started to
cry out of gratitude and love for all that the Lord has done for me.
I’m struggling today. I am having issues and problems and depression
and the world sometimes feels like it’s closing in on me, but I am NOT
what I was before and life is NOT what it has been in the past and I
thank God for the heaven on earth that He HAS brought me.