January 9, 2005

Oooh.. I’m so brilliant…

😉 I just left some comments in someone’s diary… (Sorry that they were so profuse) but I liked them so much that I decided to copy them and paste them back into my OWN diary to keep them. LOL what an ego.

LOL You’re arranging your own marriage, could be worse. Here’s the thing, though, you have to LIVE with this person. What if he gets on your nerves with annoying little habits? What if he’s inconsiderate? Doesn’t like the same TV shows as you? Is a boring conversationalist? Bad sense of humor? You have to be friends and you have to respect each other. That’s important. AND you have to feel okay, even good about him touching your body and about being vulnerable to him. You’re right that love is not romance. It’s really so much more. I saw The Notebook too and it made me wonder about my own marriage and I actually have a good one. I wondered if it was good ENOUGH… Was I missing something? Is my husband really the love of my life? Than I realized that all of that is so much bullsh*t; the bottom line is actually almost vulgar in that we are all disgusting messes and those icky moments are the moments left on the cutting room floor. The moments when we burp and fart and say mean crabby stuff and when our hair is ugly and our stomachs hang out and we’re very hard to love but someone is covering our back anyway and loyal and cares for us in spite of it all, not because of who WE are or how wonderful we are, but because of who THEY are and how upstanding and right their character is and we are the same to them because we know what’s right to do and we will be loyal and true to the person we have made vows to because we are good people and because even though we may not FEEL love at one moment we will still love them regardless of how we feel. THAT is love. 😉

P.S. Sorry for the multiple (very lengthy) notes, but I have spent SO much time and thought on this very subject! I think I have thought my brains into smoke over this and have come to some absolute truths over it. I have a solid marriage that has lasted over 20 satisfying years while I have watched others disintegrate, so I feel as if I can comment with some expertise on the subject. 🙂

LOL WHo? might I ASK was writing this? smirk

The Disguised Pirate

January 10, 2005

The notes were awesome! Thank you. It’s great having other peoples’ perspectives – I was actually hoping you’d comment, as while you are older than my average reader, I’d say often you are more open-minded. You put a nice spin on things, anyway. And is that how long the notes were! Impressive. *feels excited about increasing note tally* Thanks, Eryssa. I’m enjoying our friendship immensely.

I think marriage is a time to discover all these things… Too many people are trying each other out and then going else where because the door is still open and they get bored. What marriage is missing these days is the mystery, the excitment and discovery! In Pride and Pregudice Charoltte says ‘The less you know about your future husband the better’ and I think in many ways thats true.

You dont need to know someone inside and out before marrying them. We all know we change through out the years. I am not the same woman I was 6 years ago when I married my hubby, and he isnt the same either. Well, thats my 2 cents 🙂

January 11, 2005

Not a problem. As you may or may not know, I am also a Christian, and I am VERY open-minded. Many – and I know it’s horrible for me to stereotype, but in my experience it’s true – Christians that are American, I’ve found, are quite evangelical but I like and am very impressed by the fact that, despite your age (NO, I am not saying you are old!), you combine wisdom with youthful ideas.

Also, I can’t believe you haven’t heard of The Female Eunuch! I first heard of it when I was 13 in the Adrian Mole series… although, I suppose it’s English and Australia adopts a lot of British culture so blah blah OK point taken. Read it; you’ll like it.

hmm, while I’m thinking of it – is what you described love, or is what you described MARRIAGE? Or, should the two be synonymous?