New Year’s Resolutions? Not really…

I didn’t really make any resolutions per se this year but I did go through all of advent asking Jesus to come into my heart and life more fully, to strengthen my faith and bring me closer to what God wanted me to be. I sensed God calling me to a higher place and felt that even more strongly the other day when I was in prayer. I don’t mean a higher place in some sort of lofty “holier than thou” way, I mean it in a “cleaning up my act” way. Some things I’ve been letting myself get away with I need to tighten up on. I’ve long sort of allowed myself to do some questionable things if the reason behind those things was a good reason. You know like maybe being judgmental about someone in my haste to stand up for the underdog. In doing that, though, I’ve ended up NOT being a reconciler but maybe causing more aggression and less peace. When you urge the oppressed to stand up for themselves, maybe that’s not always the right answer even though you’re trying to make things balanced and fair. Anyway, that’s just an example.

Ever since my trip to Key West, I’ve found myself a little fascinated with the possibility with ghosts. I ended up doing a little self-analysis about this unexpected turn of events with myself and realized that I would have actually liked to communicate with the dead which, if you read that entry about ghosts I wrote, is not recommended by the Bible. Upon further reflection, I realized my aim was actually to communicate with my deceased father. I didn’t really care if I communicated with any other dead person at all. That led me to realize there was probably some stuff I needed to discuss in therapy rather than with a spiritualist (which I would have never sought out anyway but would have sort of poked around the corners in a “how bad can I be without being really bad” way.)

In Bible study today, the Pastor gave an illustration about God and our sin which penetrated my heart. He told about a time when he was young and owned a used car free and clear. Another car, however, took his fancy and he really wanted to buy it. It was much more stylish and modern so he took his father to see it and they went for a test drive. He was prepared for a big argument with his dad and put together all the reasons why he should have this new car. His dad, however, just sighed and said, “I know you like this car, but you already have a car that is completely paid for and runs really well. I would recommend you keep that one. That would be the best thing for you. But if you really want the new one, I’ll be willing to co-sign the loan for you, but you have to understand that it’s your loan that you’re taking on and you’ll be responsible for this debt. I don’t recommend that you do it.” The pastor said that he thought it over and decided not to do it and on his way home from the car dealer he felt more satisfied than ever with his same old reliable car just because he had the choice he supposed.

God, he said, is like his dad was. He says, “I know you want to do this sinful act and I won’t stop you, but I just want you to know that it’s not good for you and will have consequences that will hurt you, but if you insist on doing it, go ahead. I just don’t recommend it.”

That sure hit home when he told that story and I thought about my fascination lately with the whole concept of communicating with the dead, which is spoken against in the old testament, and how I had been thinking about it and wishing my dad could get a message through to me or wondering if it could be done. I was only holding back because I didn’t want to ‘make God mad.’ I forgot momentarily that He’s just trying to protect me, it’s not that He makes arbitrary rules that cut off our enjoyment or satisfaction. He makes suggestions to protect us from future pain and conflict. I don’t know what that future pain and conflict would be IF we even could communicate with the dead, but if God recommends we don’t, I can be pretty sure it’s not a good idea to try.

So, anyway, back to my New Year’s Resolutions (that I haven’t made) I guess mine are to try to walk with a clearer perspective of God. I have a feeling if I seek the Lord (meaning get a clearer perspective) everything else will fall into place. If I understand things of God more clearly, it won’t be such a chore to obey because I’ll have the right perspective.