I don’t need no stinkin’ Prozac…

or do I? I’ve been off the Prozac but I’m still taking one Welbutrin a day. That doesn’t seem to kill my sex drive like the Prozac does. I’ve also been trying to remember to take the DHEA. DHEA is supposed to increase the amount of testosterone in your system, thus increase your libido. It seems to work because after a couple of days on DHEA I had some great sex and I was the one who initiated it.

(Now, that may be more information than you really wanted to hear, but it’s MY diary and I’ve promised myself I was going to be completely honest in here and not hold back on anything except people’s names. Because I’ve made that promise to myself, I’ve found this journaling to be amazingly therapeutic. Like confession almost, it’s a free-ing experience to say the worst and have nobody completely freak out on you.. ((except for the person who left the note saying shame on my tiny heart)). So back to the entry…)

Of course, testosterone may increase your libido, but it also increases your feelings of aggression… not a good thing when you work with the public. Plus these customers in the new store are such jerks. I can’t believe what a twenty-some thousand per year increase in average pay can do to a group of people. The customers in my old store were so much fun. They liked to laugh and smile and enjoyed being pampered and sort of acted appreciative of being spoiled. The customers at the new store are brusque and cold. They don’t even look at you. It’s like we’re part of a giant vending machine. I hate it.

One of my oldest rants has been about “rich” people. I truly believe that wealth does something terrible to people’s personalities. I don’t mean like having enough money to get by and not get sick with worry over bill collectors. I mean more money than that. I mean enough money to make you feel superior to those around you. Enough money to be able to set your kids apart from others… enough money to buy whatever you need to keep your life rolling along. With that amount of money comes a weird confidence and a cold superiority.

I went on a field trip with my son’s class a few days ago. I had a group of four boys and four girls. One of the girls wanted to switch to another group and I had no problem with that, but the teacher said the groups were non-negotiable, which I also had no problem with… The mother who had the group the girl wanted to switch with was visibly upset that the girl couldn’t switch. She claimed the little girl wanted to be in a group with more girls, but in actuality my group was completely balanced. Then she explained it wasn’t MORE girls… she wanted to be with DIFFERENT girls. She wanted to be with her friends.

Once the teacher said no switching, the other mom looked at me (we were standing next to each other at that moment) and she said, “I’m going to have a temper tantrum.”

Now, I thought she meant she would have a tantrum on her hands from the girls… but that wasn’t it at all. She meant that she, herself, was going to have a trantrum because the teacher wouldn’t switch the girl.

I said, “XXX is not your daughter, is she?” I thought maybe I’d missed something.

She answered, “No, but I’m going to have a temper tantrum. There’s no reason she shouldn’t be with her friends.”

Actually, there are tons of reasons. Mixing the kids around like this can help avoid the creation of tight cliques and groups that hurt each other’s feelings. And how do the “reject” girls feel when another girl switches away from them saying there aren’t enough girls in the group. Good grief!

What was this mom thinking?! Well, anyway, it was obvious she was wealthy. She was used to getting her way and nothing would be too good for her child and her child’s friends (the exclusive circle). I was glad that the teacher never relented. The trip moved too fast for anybody to get a chance to revisit the issue, but had it not, I would have let her know the tantrum wasn’t appropriate. (And I would have tried not to relish it too much ;))