Granddaughter, etc.

Well yesterday my oldest daughter and her family came into town.  We had such a good time.  My granddaughter is SO active.  Anyway, after a nice dinner out at the Olive Garden last night (and this is SO cool because now I’m actually splitting meals with my slim daughter so not only do I continue to lose weight but I also continue to save money!) my granddaughter came back to the house to spend the night with us!  How fun.  We cuddled on the couch until we both went to sleep.  I woke up a few times in the night and we cuddled some more but then at 3am I just couldn’t get back to sleep for “fretting” again about the evil that men do.  Anyway, I’m trying not to give in to the bitterness.  I’ve never really had problems sleeping before. This is new to me.

I had a wonderful talk with the “acting” Pastor yesterday.  She’s not really the acting pastor because she was the pastor of congregational care, first, then promoted to senior associate pastor… but now she’s the everything pastor.  In order to distiguish her from our… well… fallen pastor, I have referred to her as the acting pastor.  Anyway, she said that God had put it in her heart to just wait.  She realizes she can’t serve under the fallen pastor any longer.  She can’t sit up there and applaud and accept the word from this man still so steeped in his deceit.  She’s not really sure what she’s going to do on July 12th when he’s due to come back from leave, but she told me to just wait… live for today.  Don’t give my notice until he returns.  She said, “You never know what will happen.  God is not pleased with this and may not let him come back in spite of how it seems now.”

I made a commitment to God that I would stick it out as long as Pastor B. is there.  I have no idolotry for her (as I experienced here and there for the fallen pastor and especially for his wife).  I’ve known her way too long and I knew her before she was saved.  Her human flaws are on her sleeve and it’s easy to see where God is trying to polish her up.  For me it’s also easy to see when God is working through her.  She is an amazing woman, but not as amazing as she’s being right now.. she just isn’t… so you know that’s God in her.  Anyway, I still feel like God wants me to honor that commitment and He will somehow let me know when it’s time to move on.  I did take all my pictures and little personal possessions home from the office though.  I want to be ready to cut and run whenever that moment suddenly strikes.  I also cleared all my personal documents out of the computer.  Like Isaid, I just had a feeling I should be ready for a quick departure.  I don’t think he’d fire me when he comes back, but Idon’t know how long I could even be in the same building as him at this point.  I find his spirit sort of repugnant I guess.  That spirit of deceit is painful to be around.  And I also tremble for him.  As a man of God, he should know the terrible danger in which he has placed himself by lying to the people of God right there, in the house of God, and allowing them to practice such blatent idolotry.  It’s a mockery of the alter and of what the sanctuary is all about.  It’s such a terrifying thought because he may get away with it now, who knows?  But someday he’s going to have to face Jesus who knows all of our hearts and knows all of our actions, and my fallen pastor is going to have to face him as the spiritual leader of the sheep so the consequences are so much more severe than for us followers. It says so in the Bible.  Better to have a stone around his neck and be dropped in the water… so, I do fear for them.  I also feel the tremendous loss to the kingdom because they DID work powerfully for God.  Nevertheless, the struggle for each of them has always been the struggle of pride.  They fancied themselves prophets and specially gifted leaders and in many ways they were the latter, but their prophecies didn’t really pan out and I think many were made from impulse rather than spiritual inspiration.

So, anyway… I really wanted to write more about my sweet little granddaughter instead of getting off on one of these tangents again.  I brought her to work with me this morning and I taught her the song, “Jesus loves me.”  She really enjoyed that and had me sing it over and over again to her.  On the way to work we stopped at the store and  I bought her some clothes and toys.  Being from Georgia, her clothes were not nearly warm enough for here (which is a little cooler right now) so I bought her something a little warmer and then some toys to play with while I worked.  After all, that’s what grandmas are for, aren’t they? to spoil the kids! 

My daughters came and met us at about 11am and we hung out at the church for awhile so they could chat with Pastor B.  Also chatted with another old friend of ours from the church.  Meanwhile, I was making calls all over trying to resolve some issues about my son’s insulin pump and getting his supplies.  What a mess.  I was so frustrated.  My pcp’s office kept saying the endocrinologist should do the referal for the supplies, and the endocrinologist kept saying the pcp should do it.  I was going nuts… meanwhile he’s out of some very integral pieces.  Fortunately our educator had some extras.. thank you God… and left some  for me to get so my son will be able to go on retreat tomorrow.  He’s going to the men’s convention and needs all the supplies so that there won’t be any mess ups while he’s out of town.

I hope he enjoys it.  My brother will be meeting him thereand they’ll room together (as they did last year).  I hope something touches my son’s heart.  He believes but I don’t think he feels that God/Jesus are really integral parts of his life.  And now, with all this mess, he has decided to take a break from organized religion as has my husband.  I’ve reminded them that the Bible says to not forsake the gathering of the believers, so I will probably be able to get them to at least attend church once in awhile come the fall, but in the meantime, it’s a struggle.  But, I was saved on a retreat when I was 17.  And, sure I backslid for a great many years, but God did not leave me out to the wolves.  My relationship with Him is the most long term and substantial component of my  life.  I pray that my son will be touched that deeply as well.

Back to the granddaughter… the girls and I all went out to lunch at this noodle place.  It was delicious.  I had thai soup, just the broth, I gave the noodles to my oldest.  After that we came home and snoozed a bit while the granddaughter played and we talked and were just close.  It was such a wonderful visit.  My son-in-law’s interview went well and they’ll let him know for sure on Friday but it definately looks good that they will be moving back here PRAISE GOD!  I certainly hope so…but let His will be done.  We had a long talk about tithing and church and they think they might want to start going to church once they come back here.  That’s really the only thing missing from their lives (besides a decent budget) ;-). 

They too

k off in the early evening.  I miss them already but feel very hopeful that they’ll be back soon!