June 12, 2005

For the Girls

“Oh God, you’ve just gotta help this girl! What kind of life is this for a young girl to be living??? It’s tearing my heart apart to think about her alone, desolate, drowning in pain. You’ve got to help her!”

Which one of YOU am I praying for here? Guess! Because I’ve been praying for all of you.

Last Friday night when we gathered for Bible study we all prayed so sincerely for all of you, by name (and I know a LOT of your real names just from hanging around). We prayed for you – name, by name. Again, on Sunday morning, the congregation prayed for you by name. And me, by myself, alone with God (who I know loves me but I can’t, for the life of me, figure out why) pray for you so often, with such a heavy heart.

And I pray for you girls because I know the things I’ve been through. I went through a lot as a teen and I went through a lot in young adulthood. Heck, I go through a lot now even. But I sense a desolation in your words that is so dark and so sad and I haven’t felt that lost in so long that it hurts me to read it and to feel it along with you when I read. I can’t just read it and move on with my life. I can’t go about my daily stuff knowing that you’re out there and there’s nothing I can do to break the agony you’re feeling. And there’s not just one of you, there’s several of you… and then I find more of you and more and more…. Until I realize that there is an EPIDEMIC of desolation happening to young women all over the world and I have no idea why.

But for you girls, the ones that I read and love… you know who you are. I am praying… I am praying SO HARD. Just know that there is someone who cares and who really thinks about you, wonders how you’re doing on and off throughout the day, who is aware of you and of your existence and who is awed by your depth, intelligence and soul.

lilmissaj81

June 13, 2005

i’ll read your entry in a sec. i want to get this out tho before i forget! RYNs:i really DON’T know what i am. what i think i nkow of myself, all that is concrete, is that i’m fat and stupid. and i have blue eyes that are funny shaped. that’s all i really feel i know abuot myself. and how can someone like me, if i don’t even like myself? and i ams cared to be in a relationship because it wouldn’t>

be based on truth. it would be based on truth half-way.. but my part would be based on the mask i wear. and i don’t think that is fair to anyone, not even myself. but i don’t know how to live without the mask. as long as i can remember, it’s been a part of me.. and no i was not insulted by what you said. lol. thanks for taking time to read/care. <3

i bet those girls feel a lot better after reading that entry, knowing that someone cares. you probably made a lot of people feel better, evne if just for a milisecond 🙂

thats sweet. i try to pray to god but he doesnt listen to my prayers anymore even though i tell him everynight before i go to bed thank you for my boyfriend, my friends and all my od my od friends. but i always used to hear him talk to me but now i here my boyfriends friend(she died in a car accident) telling me to keep strong for him. but i just think god doesnt like me. well idk… xxxxxxxxxx

dancing thoughts

June 14, 2005

Good for you. Although I think the sadness and pain, the pain of shedding your skin to become someone else, is just a part of growing up, it’s always good to have someone that we think cares about us. :)Take care…

Oh I hope I was on your list. I could use the prayers now. Congratulations on the size 6!

*stupid me*

Heya, thanks for the notes, it’s totally fine to clog up my diary for notes. They’re always welcome. I suppose feeling mixed up is worse, like you said, I also tend to cut more when I feel more overwhelmed rather than when I’m feeling just straight depressed. You don’t seem like a pusher at all, far from it. Hearing your story made me feel better, just reinstating that people get through their..

problems and then help other people out. I’m sure many of the people who read your notes and diary feel much happier when after doing so. Reading your latest entry made me feel happier even if it wasn’t meant for me. Thanks for everything. x ps tell your son that he has good taste in music!

Penny_Dreadful

First of all, thank you for praying for me, and keep it up, I think I’m going to need it. Secondly, I didn’t know I was suppose to write about de-stressing. I shall make it up too you:)

Thank you SO much for that lovely ecard. You are the best, and make me feel a lot better about everything. lol, funny you should send a dessert card…I made a big old chocolate cake today..then went out for pizza and had wine. I never made it to the cake…I’m sick from the pizza:( Guess the cake is breakfast:D

.no.modern.babydoll.

how can you have faith? i wish that i did; i want so badly to have actual faith. its like i can BELIEVE that God only wants good for me, but i dont have FAITH. just thought that you might know, since in a prayer group and so must obviously have faith that your prayers will be answered. be well,

Hey there! Long time I know! U are such an amazing prayer warrior! I just can’t wait till u go to heaven and see all the lives u’ve changed that u don’t even know about! (well.. i can wait but..u know… lol). Keep standing strong and being so wonderful! In CHrist, Anna

crystal butterfly

June 15, 2005

my OD friends are in my prayers daily.

silent ghost

at the moment im trying to show some one who i realy am and there tryin to help me be the real me which is hard but to know some one cares means the world to me. thankyou! xxx. if any thing ever happens to me u nmust no u ahve always been in my thoughts!

Tinkymamma

*hugs*

Thats BEAUTIFUL!