where are the damn sleeping pills

6am and still no sleep
its weird too cuz for once
im at some sort of peace
the insomniac is kicking in
and i have nothing to stop this uncontrolable problem
when i have nothing to knock me out
ive searched all over
if only i had some money so i wouldnt have this problem
one good thing
i wont get to stress about anything tomorrow
just have to stress right now

i sure hope that this problem does not continue
for the rest of my life
and if it does than why?
am i supposed to get some sort of intelligence out of it?
or is it just a curse that im to live with
i need some sort of help
some sort of way to make my brain slow down
something that can smack it around and make it lazy
cuz when im most at PEACE its in my sleep
but it its one of the hardest things for me to do
do i love the feeling?
of being tired with this weird sensation of not being a part of the "real world"
how am i going to get anywhere in life if this keeps going on
sometimes ill have my good nights
mosly they just suck termendiously

if only it was just as easy for me to go to the doctor
have them give me some pill
to knock me out and for once get great sleep
over and over and over and over and over and over………… again.
for me though
its not
someday i hope that it will be
the lovely fuzzy feeling of wanting to sleep but the feeling of not really being in the REAL WORLD.
which is ironic cause i would love to not be in the real world most of the time
ironic is that i would love to have this fuzzy feeling all the time
instead of getting the presure of needing to go to sleep
just like the rest of the world’s people
just like the normal people
i use the word "normal" very loosly though
everyones normal in the sence that we aren’t.

– ME