Ok So Now I Know…

I had a GREAT weekend. When Kerry and I first sat down to talk I thought he was going to get all defensive by the way he reacted to what I was telling him. I did not tell him or blame him for my feelings I stated they were MY feelings and if they were unfounded by him or he didn’t understand that that was ok. I also told him even if it was ok he needed to realize why I had these feelings and WE needed to work on some issues I was having. Needless to say we talked for quite some time (mainly me) and I feel we got a ton of stuff worked out. He was SO much better toward me I felt as far as listening goes the entire rest of the weekend. We went down to River Parks and borrowed his brothers bikes (we didn’t have anyway to haul his) and rode for a little over 7 miles and talked alot more. We had to stop about 4 times because I couldn’t feel my legs anymore except for the excrusiating pain. I still felt like I do so much better than walking. Today I walked 1/2 block and thought I was going to die. I don’t understand the difference other than I can coast on the bike where when walking it is continual movement on legs that have hardly any circulation. I need to go back to my cardiologist and surgeon but I don’t want to have another bypass and the stents don’t last 3 weeks before the scar tissue has those blocked. He told me that I should not have any problems with the bypass material they used and it should work. Well I hate to tell him it didn’t….sighhhh. Kerry and I also went to Mayfest on Saturday night and had a great time listening to bands and looking at some of the artists booths.
But yeah I guess now I do know…… I do love him and like I said last entry he does love me. If I could just keep him out of that bachelor mode…..lol
He will be leaving for Germany, London, Amsterdam and wherever else he takes off to in June. He wanted me to go and meet up with him but I didn’t get my passport stuff because there was NO way I could afford that stuff. I just don’t feel right him paying for everything or most everything when we go places. He did say we were going to have to get it though because he wants to take me to Greece in January. ANyways guess I better go to bed I am exhausted and I have to get up early to take more food to my Aunt and Uncles. He will be having surgery again on Thursday to remove a nodule or something off of his thyroid gland. At this time they do not know if it is malignant or not. His tumor markers have been elevated and they have ran a ton more bone scans and cat scans. His bone cancer they feel has not changed much at this time. They are just concerned with this nodule.
Hugs to all and thanks so much for all your comments, thoughts and prayers on my last entry