11-6-93

11-6-93

Things are better today. I’m pretty sure the baby has been cranky because he has a cold. I went to the drugstore and got some "saline drops" to loosen up the mucus in his nose, and some Tylenol drops, if he still gets worse I’m gonna take him to see the doctor. I decided last night that I want to try to get a weekend job. Maybe a few days of my "own" time will do me some good, and it will at least pay for my therapy. I called Barb (my old boss) and asked her if she had any openings for weekends, and she said after Thanksgiving she would probably need X-mas help, so I asked her to give me a call. I’m gonna hold off applying anywhere else until after I see if I’m gonna work at Reny’s for Christmas. Kevin said that he would go back to nights so that he could watch Aaron, so that’s all set.

I’m glad I wrote how I was feeling last night, because now I feel ok, and I wouldn’t have written today those "forbidden" feelings.

I have to go to Bangor a little later, I have a release form to fill out so that Trudy can tell my therapist anything that might help. I think maybe I’ll take a stroller so Aaron & I can walk around some stores and maybe apply some places. Maybe.

Having those feelings again – they are really bad right now: I feel like crying and screaming, and getting sick. I feel like getting in the car and leaving the baby to cry in an empty house. My head hurts really bad.

Will it ever end?!!!!!!!