06/28/1994

12:30 am

Kevin & I are going to see Trudy in 8½ hours. Dr. T is supposed to prescribe the Lithium today. We (myself & K) want to start it right away, to see if it can put SOME control on my emotions. Since Saturday, life has been TENSE, UNHAPPY, & CONFUSED. Saturday we went to Priscilla and Mike’s wedding, but, (oh yes!) (I was going to say that I didn’t remember what we did, but I do). We sat on the living-room couch and watched movies. We also discussed the fact that we were both pretty sure spending so much money next summer was pretty ridiculous, bcause we ARE ALREADY married–and K said that he felt as if we were "mocking" our vows. The idea was pretty much "scrapped" by then, but, come Sunday, the idea of a "wedding" next August was totally OBLIVIATED. Seemed we were having a rough time just holding on to the ones we already had!

Sunday morning (around 11:30-12) I called my father to ask if I could stay with him for a month or 2–he said "yes". K said this was good, bcause Sat. morning he was thinking we needed a "separation" he was at the "end of his rope". Then he left to visit HIS father, in a very pissed-off mood. I went down to the video store to tell Don I needed a month off, because K & I were separating, and I was going to stay with Dad. BUT, I was coming back, and would my job be here?

Tentatively = "yes"

Maybe = "no"

OK – so in the interim, if he hired somebody else, & there was no space for me, I could handle it.

I came back to the tailor, & K called and said he wanted to TALK. When I got home from taking some items back to the store in Newport, he pounced on my shit, before I had even stepped through the door! "Why did you quit your job?!" was his very first question. He had called Don at the store, and Don had told him that I had come in and QUIT, so I was HISTORY. To make a long story short, K told me to leave now, and he never wanted to see me again – he was sick of my shit, and fuck me. Through all of this I never "broke" – until I hung up the phone on him while he was talking to Leanne C. Suffice to say, we sat down and talked, more like "skirted" around important details, but at least we weren’t yelling or leaving!!

RIGHT?

This is the plan WE came up with: I would stay and try to work things out, and maybe visit N.J. after I had had time to "plan" instead of just going there to "run away". I would look for a job to save money for a trip to N.J. and pay household bills. I would stay at a friend’s house for a few days to think things over.

So, then I called Don & said I wouldn’t work for him Monday, bcause in essence he had fired me for no GOOD reason, I didn’t owe him ANYTHING; NADA – zip – gooseegg. He tried to get me to do it by making me feel guilty and when still said "no", he said (and I quote) "Then get your ass down here and give me the keys." Click. Maybe it was stupid to give him the keys before I talked with Jerry, but I’ll never know, will I?

In any case, K took me down to pick up my belongings, and Don told me that I was shitty and childish bcause I wasn’t working Monday for him. He had gone and hired Danny’s MOTHER 10 minutes after I had left! So much for tenacity! And when I said as much to Mr. D.P.L., he said "hey, you quit" and I said "no I asked for time off for personal problems", & he said he was calling me a liar in front of K and I said "well, we’ll see what happens when I report you to the Dept. of Labor" and he said "you are a bitch" & I said ….."and you sir, are getting charged with harrassment, bcause I have put up with enough of your shit." AND I WALKED OUT THE DOOR.

*I will continue this a little later…..*

5:00 pm

I spoke to Jerry earlier, and I’m supposed to meet Jerry & Don at the store at 2:00 pm tomorrow afternoon. I’m supposed to be working Saturdays, but Don seems bound and determined that I will NOT come back. We’ll see tomorrow afternoon: no more about it until then.

Started Lithium today.

There really is nothing to say about the medication – well, maybe, but I’m 2 tired.

LATER.