Suicide dreams

I look in the mirror and see a fucked up kid, a guy who is about to lost everything after wanting everything. A guy who sees the world as nothing but a hell. Friends of mine say that suicide is the easy way out of things but I don’t see it that way, I see it as the way of ending everybody’s hate towards me. A dream as of late that I’ve known to live in is my funeral, there’s me in a casket & me attending the funeral. Alone. Nobody else there, nobody else caring & then I tend to think, is this some stupid sign? Is it easily telling me that nobody cares? I cried those nights thinking that, looking at all the negatives in my life & blocking out the positives. I FUCKING HATE THIS LIFE I’M LIVING! wishing that I can end it all shortly & saving everybody’s trobules of talking to me.