Up and Down

I’ve noticed lately that I’m falling into a fairly typical "bipolar" pattern of feeling ever-so-slightly manic in the mornings and during the early part of the afternoon, then descending into depression in the evening. It’s not anything severe right now. The hypomania helps me get up and get going so I can get everything done that I need to and it’s not anything that worries me. The depression is quite a bit less pleasant, but it’s still manageable.

I am worried about what could happen if it takes much longer to get pregnant. I had to go off medication before we started trying to conceive. So I’m completely unmedicated right now and having to deal with the obvious frustration and disappointment that now goes along with getting my period every month. Admittedly, I haven’t gotten it yet this month, but I am spotting, which usually happens right before I get my period. I’m still hoping and praying that it’s implantation bleeding – that it will magically stop and I won’t get my period – but my hopes aren’t high. I really though that this could be the month too.

In the meantime, I’m trying to get back into the exercise groove. Still. It’s just so much easier to lazy! And there is no way I can be as active here as I was in Milford. I mean, seriously. I got up and went to the gym for over an hour every morning, then went to work where I was up and down with the kids, dancing, running around, and basically all over the place all day. Then on my lunch breaks I would go for a walk. I have been pretty good about going to the gym, at least this week. Alan suggested that during the day when I’m otherwise just watching TV I should do crunches, squats, and lunges during the commercial breaks. Admittedly, it’s a good idea. Now I just have to make up my mind and motivation to do it.

I hope everyone had a good Valentine’s Day. We didn’t do anything particularly special because it was the day before Alan got paid so we were broke. The next day Alan got me chocolates and I made him Oreo-stuffed chocolate chip cookies, which are just obscenely bad for you and pretty darn tasty.

For my literary-minded friends, I really have to recommend the book Going Bovine by Libba Bray. I had read her first three books: A Great and Terrible Beauty; Rebel Angels; and The Sweet Far Thing. They made up a series about a girl name Gemma Doyle whose parents have died and who moves from her childhood home in British India to the same girls’ school that she discovers her mother attended. There is mystery, a little romance, and lots of the supernatural and it was a good series. This one is completely different. It’s about a boy named Cameron Smith who develops Creutzfeldt-Jakob Disease… mad cow. It’s really dark and really funny and there’s an angel with a bright pink pixie cut. I think it has potential to become something of a cult classic. It has a bit of the same feel as The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy or Good Omens.

And it was a wonderful change of pace from The Wings of the Dove. No disrespect to Henry James, but reading it was like trying to swim through molasses. The paragraphs were pages long and made up of some of the longest, most rambling sentences I’ve ever read. I just couldn’t do it. It was on the list of 1001 Books You Must Read Before You Die, which is why I attempted it, but I couldn’t get through it. Fortunately, I haven’t read so many of the books on the list that I don’t have a lot of options. I think by the time I’m done with my 50 for my 101 Things in 1001 Days, I’ll have read at least 150 of them. I’ll have to check on that.

Okay, this is completely random, but for those people who keep referring to Kate Middleton as the future queen. She will not be the queen anymore than Prince Philip is the king. He’s the Duke of Edinburgh and that only because of his marriage to Elizabeth. She will be Her Royal Highness Princess William of Wales (seriously) or, if he is given a title, Duchess of Whatever. She would not ever be queen, just like the Queen Mother was never actually queen. She was the wife of the king.

Another random thing that’s been annoying me: people on Yahoo! Answers who continually ask if they might be pregnant. "Like, okay, so my boyfriend and me were fooling around and ended up having sex without a condom. That was yesterday. Now I feel sick. Is this morning sickness? Am I pregnant?" Okay, chica, if you have unprotected sex, you could be pregnant. End of story. But you’re not having morning sickness yet.  Another one: "So my boyfriend and me had sex three times with condoms every time and he always pulled out before he finished. I got my period three days ago. Could I still be pregnant?" Seriously. I have even seen questions from girls asking if they could be pregnant from giving a guy a blowjob or letting him finger them. One girl even asked if it was possible to get pregnant before you’ve had your period (which it is). It’s just too good. I have to copy the question itself: "Me and my boy didnt exactly have sex but we were in bed together. I was wearing undes and so was he. We kind of made out without him actually going inside. Later I started to use the bathroom a lot. Also I was drinking a lot of water for no reason and a was very hungry at times. My tummy doesn’t look much different after two months but has bumps on the sides. Also I have cramps at times but when I lay down it looks like im just bones. I gained like 10 pounds but im very thin. My mom owns a gym and I work out all the time. Neither of us had our periods yet. We are 15. I know it was stupid but please dont be mean. I dont want a baby cause i would get in big trouble. Please nobody call be a troll. I get that a lot." 

Just in case you missed that, read it again. Sixth sentence from the end. I’ll wait.

Find it yet?

That’s right. "Neither of us had our periods yet." I am officially ashamed to be the same species as this person. She’s fifteen and doesn’t know how pregnancy happens or even that men don’t have periods. I got a violation because my answer was "Wait… WTF? Neither of you had your periods yet? If you’re not a troll, you have to be the dumbest "fifteen-year-old" I’ve ever encountered." Okay, so it wasn’t the nicest answer, but seriously, if she’s not trolling, she has to be the dumbest bag of organs on the planet.

I tremble in fear for the fate of our planet.

Anyway, Alan is on his way home for breakfast, so I’m going to put some coffee on for him because I’m such a nice wifey. LOL.

~Liz