Too Pat to Open and Too Cool to Bluff

So, it’s November now.

I don’t really know where to go with that, honestly. I’ve started my efforts at NaNoWriMo. It has potential, but I’m not particularly excited about it this year. I’m not sure why. I actually love the idea, but I’m not sure it’s the right format for it. Still, it is the one I’m most familiar with and the idea of trying to get everything down on paper while simultaneously trying to learn how to write a screenplay is overwhelming. Enough so that I had this idea months ago and still haven’t done anything with it. So there you are.

Alan’s been gone for just over a week now and seems for the most part to be enjoying JRTC. He was sick for a couple days, which is pretty standard when he goes out in the field for some reason. He also hasn’t been sleeping much, which he’ll get used to, hopefully before strangling anyone, particularly Kelby. Faulk did just get promoted so he and Alan are the same rank again and maybe that means he’ll stop behaving like a total douchebag. Then again, maybe not. Alan is still very much a natural leader and Faulk just isn’t. I think he wants to be, but lacks the necessary temperament. Just to brag on my husband a little bit, but his superiors have been talking about sending him to the Promotion Boards almost since he became a Specialist. To be promoted to Sergeant he needs 4 months time in grade plus however many points they’ve most recently decreed (it varies every month). Well, this month marks his 2-years in service along with that 4-months as a Specialist. One of the captains (I forget which) wants to send him to the Boards even before they deploy, although Alan isn’t entirely sure he wants to be a Sergeant who’s never deployed at all. Still, it’s exciting that he’s doing so well and I’m happy for him. Not that I expected much different. Alan has the uncanny ability to get promoted in very short amounts of time in every single job he’s had. He’s just like that for some reason. Still, good for him, right?

I’ve already started thinking about Christmas presents this year. I mostly just want baby stuff and a couple books. I also asked my mom for a camcorder, but that sort of falls into the realm of baby stuff. I’m planning on getting Alan a digital camera. Not that he doesn’t already have one, but he wants a slim one to bring with him when he deploys so that he can send pictures when he gets the chance. Plus the one he wants is available at Sears and I just got a bunch of coupons from them to use anytime in the next three weeks. So yay. My mom has recently started playing guitar so I may look for some fun accessories for her. I also wanted to give her a painting of the Uffington White Horse, since the only version of it I can find is a necklace. Lovely, yes, but my mom is not a jewelry person. I’m not really sure what to get for anyone else, though I would like to stick with local merchants this year if I can.

As for what I’m doing, I can honestly say, not much. On Monday (Halloween), I went over to Cassie’s house and we watched "Silence of the Lambs" and had mozzarella sticks and pizza. Charlee joined us after she got out of work and refused to even look at the screen for the rest of the movie because for some reason she thinks it’s a scary movie. I’m not sure why she thinks that exactly. It’s not really anymore frightening than some episodes of crime shows I’ve seen and less frightening than some other TV shows. It’s mostly just slightly creepy. At any rate, Cassie and I lobbied for "Clue" after that, since it’s somewhat Halloweenie but in a completely ridiculous way. "I’m not shouting! ::pause:: All right, I am! I’m shouting! I’m shouting! ::thunk::" I love that stupid movie and I love that Cassie has it on DVD because it’s one of the few I haven’t been able to find once I started replacing my VHS tapes (The other is the first Legally Blonde… the second one is everywhere, but not the first). Charlee and I stayed pretty late and I skipped the FRG/Squared Away meeting the next night. I can’t see the point, especially since they insisted on having it down in the new complex, which is about 10 miles further from my house than the Family Readiness Center where the meetings usually are. Besides, I did the Squared Away meetings in the spring already. Angelique is also having some kind of "holiday" brunch at her house on Saturday that I will more than likely go to. How she can call it a holiday brunch when it’s the first weekend of November is beyond me. Too bad you need permits for open fires in Colorado or we could celebrate Guy Fawkes day.

Otherwise, I have nothing really going on. I’ve been trying to exercise more because my increasing weight is upsetting me. The funny thing is, I have no idea where the weight is. My belly really isn’t much bigger and as all my clothes still fit perfectly well, I can only conclude that my ass, hips, and thighs are (mercifully) not expanding. If I really tried, I could still button my jeans too. It’s just a lot more comfortable to use the Bella Bands. I do think I’ll have to buy some more maternity clothes though. Buying a bigger size in regular clothes just makes me look bulky instead of pregnant. The only problem I’m running into is the pain. I can do the yoga video I have, but I need cardio too and that’s a lot harder. I can walk well enough, but walking up stairs and hills has become far more painful than walking on a flat surface. Unfortunately, my entire apartment complex is built on a hill. I live near the bottom and the gym is at the top. There’s no way to avoid going up both hills and stairs, so that even by the time I get the mail (which hill is not as steep), I’m in a lot of pain. It really isn’t any fun at all. And so I’m putting on far more weight than I’d like. Grr!

I did order my dress for the ball. Luckily, even with shipping it was only $125 and I don’t have to buy either shoes or jewelry since I have some things that will work already. I got it in burgundy, which should look nice with Alan’s dress uniform, which is such a dark green that it’s almost black. I’m hoping I won’t even need to have it altered, but we’ll see when it arrives. That should be sometime next week actually, and I’m pretty excited about it. I rarely have any reason for dressing up.

Something has recently come up a few times on the baby boards and that is the issue of abortion. One thread discussed the coming vote in Mississippi that would essentially make abortion illegal, a measure that’s already been passed in a number of states. Another asked, interestingly enough, if our views on abortion have changed since getting pregnant. Honestly, I’d say that I’m even more pro-choice now than before. I didn’t appreciate the toll this would take on my body. Yes, I knew I’d get bigger and things would change, but I don’t think it’s possible to appreciate those changes until you’re living through them. I’m so uncomfortable so much of the time. And I hate looking at my body. It’s physically, emotionally, and psychologically exhausting and I actually WANT this child. We were trying to get pregnant. I can’t imagine how much worse this would all be if it was a child I resented and didn’t want in the first place. It would utterly horrifying.

And I think the most important part is that bills like the one in Mississippi that decree that a person is a person from the moment of conception take the woman outof the equation entirely. Suddenly it’s not about her right to decide whether she wants to be a mother, but about an embryo’s "right" to develop into a person. What the hell is that about? Mistakes happen, tough shit. No, I personally wouldn’t get an abortion except in certain situations. But again, I wanted to be a mother at this point in my life. Who am I to say that’s what every woman should want? A friend of mine posted an interesting article on FB yesterday (if you’d like to read it: http://www.rhrealitycheck.org/article/2011/11/01/its-not-about-the-eggzygoteembryofetus-re-claiming-the-abortion-debate) that I think is relevant. It’s not about the personhood of an embryo or fetus, but about the rights of women to decide what happens to their bodies. Why has that right been subsumed by the supposed "rights" of a person that doesn’t even exist yet and merely has the potential to exist?

Sorry, done ranting.

Anyway, it’s about time to hitch on my maternity support belt and trek up to the mailbox. I seriously wish were living in a flat part of town these days.

~Liz