Renewal**

Ever since that dream I had about Zach, I’ve had a hard time getting him out of my head. It could be a problem. Of course, I’m finding myself annoyed that he’s been quiet with me lately. And that may very well be what prompted the dream in the first place. Looking at my texts, I’ve had three exchanges with him since December, the last one to ask about all the red equal signs on Facebook. Before that it was to say happy birthday. Depressing. And of course, the root problem is that he has a girlfriend… a real one. Not implying that he makes them up, but that he doesn’t often go so far as to acknowledge them as girlfriends and introduce them to his mom. He’s been with her for a while too.

And I’m jealous.

Which of course makes no sense. Because he’s not mine and I am definitely not his. I have no right to be jealous. I don’t know. Maybe that’s not even quite what I’m feeling, so much as annoyance that he’s not talking to me because he’s so involved with her. Maybe if he did talk to me more, I wouldn’t be jealous despite the fact that he’s in a relationship. Hell, I was a little annoyed that he called Alan a couple days ago because even though they’re brothers, Zach and I have always been closer.

Looking back through my entries, I realized that I’ve had a crush on him for more than 3 years. I’ve had a crush on Rosso for longer though, so I guess he wins. LOL

Right now Alan is doing CQ duty, basically acting as a temporary RA for the barracks and making sure no one gets into any trouble. He’ll be back in the morning, at which point I’m sure he’ll pass out until noon. But at least I’ll have the car.

Anyway, Pippa is stirring and it’s late enough that I should just go to bed.

~Liz

*Edit because OD is being a pain in the ass again.

** Did this show up in Bookmarks?